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OOPS !   I AM NOT CALM !

It is my own fault. I am trying to be efficient. I am trying to put my ducks in a row. I am trying to prove that I can function as an older, independent widowed woman.  IT AIN'T WORKING !

Tonight's raging battle with the banks and credit card company could have gone so much easier if I had never sat down at the computer in the first place. I could have just put my comfy clothes on, filled a huge bowl with ice cream and fudge syrup and whip cream and nuts and sat on the couch and watched a totally stupid movie and been in hog fat heaven but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I have to be dieting and so rather than eating I am being PRODUCTIVE ! I decided to work on my finances and see just where I was with money. How much was coming IN and how much was going OUT. no no no no no no no no no no  . . . .  there really needs to be a little something that drops from the ceiling when I decide these things. Something that would fall from the ceiling and smash  me in the head rendering me unconscious for at least a month. I swear I am my own worst enemy.

So I sit down at the computer and check my one bank. OH LOOK, all that nice money just sitting there. OH LOOK, all that nice money slowly draining out of the nice bank account and NOTHING going back in. Now the visions of me in a Publix deli hat and apron are becoming quite vivid. (I look pretty good in green. I could probably pull it off. Running the carts out to the cars would be tougher, all that walking might bother my knees, but then the exercise would be good. I doubt I'd do well as a cashier, I'd get talking too much. Maybe the bakery?)  Then I see a charge for $12.95 going out every month and I can't figure out what it's for. No phone number, no name, nothing. But the bank web site says I can call them up till 10 PM so I call. Nice young man gives me a phone number which I will call tomorrow. From there I move on to bank number two.  Why do I have 2 banks ? I have ALWAYS wondered that myself ? Like one isn't good enough ? (NO!) I have so much money I need to divide it between 2 banks? (NO!) I couldn't make up my mind which bank I like better? Actually now I have 3 banks if you consider the bank that holds my mortgage. It gets quite confusing as to which account at which bank gets which income check at what time of the month. (Don't let this throw you, there are only 2 sources of income and only 4 accounts but I still have trouble remembering who's on first!)
So now I have figured out what is coming, what is going, when things are coming and when things are going out and because I haven't stretched my brain quite far enough I decide to now venture into the very murky waters of . . . .  (a little drum roll here) . . . . THE CREDIT CARD ! . . . .     And this is where I lost it.   You see, I called the credit card company some time in the recent past to alert them to the fact that the major card holder had passed away. (Ger thought he was the major credit card holder because he WAS the one with all the money so his name came first on everything. Who USED the card the most is another matter entirely.) After going through many condolences Capitol One assured me I was now the major credit card holder, Gerard's name would be removed from all further billing and all was well with the world. UNTIL I tried to log into my Cap One on line account tonight. It is now too late to call anyone, probably a good thing. I shall call them in the morning and get this all straightened out, of that I am sure. Capitol One has been great and I would not have any other card in my wallet but I sure was pissed at them tonight.

Thank Heavens for this blog!