DEAR DIARY

I have mentioned often that I used to journal . . . but now in the age of instant gratification I don't write with a pen and paper, I BLOG . . .  Even though my blogs don't come close to my journals it is still a great way to get rid of some of the garbage that is in my head. I'm sorry to say YOU have become my Sanitation Department. I thank you all for giving me the opportunity to Dump when ever my garbage can of a brain is overflowing.

Journals were wonderful in that I knew I could write ANYTHING because no one would see my rantings. I confess my language in my journals is usually rated "X" and they should never be read by anyone other than a well seasoned sailor who has already "heard it all".  Although in another few years I will not have to worry about who finds my journals because no one under the age of seventy will be able to read script and all my journals are hand written in script except for the occasions when I was having a particularly awful day and wrote in large block letters using my own blood. 

I'm here this morning to vent, as usual, which I hope will reset my brain into a calmer mode. If it wasn't still dark outside and I could get my clothes without waking the whole house I would get dressed and take a L - O - N - G walk to cool and clear my brain. 

It's just one of those mornings that I woke up to pee at about 5 AM and my brain kicked into hyper mode. I have no idea what triggers that but once it happens I just have to get up and DO some of the things that my brain has decided are SO IMPORTANT they have to be addressed IMMEDIATELY.  The fact that much of my brains thoughts are focused on things that can not be done at this unGodly hour.makes no difference.  Most places of business are not yet open, (unless I need to do business with someone in China),  because everyone is still sleeping I can't run the vacuum, (well, I could but that wouldn't be very nice), it is too cool or damp to do anything outside, all my clothes and car keys are in the bedroom where D is still sleeping, (as any normal person should be), and I can't turn on the TV because I have left my hearing aids in the bedroom and can't hear anything less than the equivalent of a Def Leppard concert as seen from the front row.

But who am I kidding . . .  I wouldn't be doing any of those things even if it were 2 in the afternoon because although my brain has decided it can't sleep my body is desperate to find a comfortable place and position that does not invoke some sort of ache or pain.  It seems that the more active my brain becomes the less mobile my body is. It is torture to be a prisoner in this achey bag of bones.  I can not imagine how persons who are paralyzed or have chronic pain can live day after day. I only have aches and pains brought on by abusing my body all these years. Add to that the extra 40 or so pounds that I drag around on a daily basis so I have no one to blame but myself. Once again I say, " If I had known I would live this long I would have taken better care of myself". Yet I wouldn't change it for the world and really do want to hang around for at least another 30 years.

Now if the thought of having to put up with my blog for another 30 years isn't enough to make you want to jump off the nearest cliff I don't know what is.  Just call before you jump because I might want to join you. Especially if it is at five AM.