NO PAIN - NO GAIN

I have found a whole new meaning to the expression, "No Pain - No Gain".

Let's start with the fact that I do not, never did, nor ever will exercise .  My exercise as a kid was playing outside ALL day riding bikes, playing tag and roller skating in the street. (And still I was a "chubby" kid)
As a teen and twenty something life was full of adventures that involved physical activity of one sort or another. (I'll let you imagine what you will.). Once I had kids exercise came in the form of trying to stay one step ahead of the children, walking up and down soccer and base ball fields and the ever increasing need to shovel out the piles of toys and laundry that accompanies children. As a parent there was no "down" time or "Me" time for mommy, just the ever increasing need for speed.
When the kids were grown and out of the house I never had the desire to exercise because now I could do all the things I had wanted to do for the past twenty five years of raising children. Travel and cleaning.  Not necessarily in that order.
Unfortunately I should have been exercising all those years because now that I have the time I can't move for all the aches and pains that accompany growing older. (Not OLD, just older.). Probably if I HAD exercised all those years past I would not be in such rough shape now.

And so we are brought to the "No Pain - No Gain" mantra of the young.  It struck me today that when I am not in pain I manage to NOT GAIN weight and when I AM in pain I some how manage to gain weight at an alarming rate of speed.  Thus . . . No pain . . . no gain !  I don't think this is the exact interpretation of the expression but it sure is true for me.  If/when I am aching and hurting I do not turn to opioids, (not to make light of the terrible national crisis) because I do not have any serious drugs like this. I don't turn to alcohol because now a days my stomach can't handle alcohol the way it did in my younger years. So all that is left is FOOD.  Chocolate cake does nothing for physical pain but it sure as hell makes my soul feel a lot better. There is nothing like sitting in my recliner stuffing chocolate cake in my mouth to make all the problems of the world go away. (Until I have to stand up and can't move for all the stiffness in my bones and the crumbs on my chest.)

As a result of all these aches and pains I have discovered that the Bayer Asprin company has a product on the market that is as close to a "wonder drug" as I have found without being stoned out of my mind. (A state that I am not at all opposed to but my friends, family and doctors do seem to frown on.)
My father ALWAYS took Bayer Asprin for his arthritis and bursitis. For as long as I can remember there was that little clear plastic bottle of little white pills that he would turn to when ever things got too painful for him. I remember that he would only take ONE pill, (for fear of an overdose?) and it would always seem to bring him relief.  This memory jogged in my brain a couple of months ago when met shoulder was giving me a particularly rough day. I seemed to remember I had a bottle of aspirin around here somewhere, (in case of heart attacks) and when I couldn't find that little bottle I headed to my computer to search Amazon for some relief.  Sure enough good old Bayer company is still making their wonderful product AND have even expanded on an already great product. I discovered . . .  (wait for it!) . . . . . . .. . .  BAYER BACK AND BODY !!!  I have no idea what they have added to the original formula but it works !!  (My thinking upon seeing this new medicine was that if Bayer aspirin was good this had to be even better.)
I purchased a small bottle to start and have since graduated to the keg size container that is delivered by an eighteen wheeler semi truck once a month.  (And it will keep my blood thin so I don't die of a stroke!)

But as good as this product is I have a suggestion for the Bayer Company . . .  they now need to up their game and create . . . BAYER BACK AND BODY AND BRAIN . . .  If they could just add a little extra something something to help my brain pain I would buy stock in the company tomorrow.