I realize that I pick on The Man and men in general so in all fairness I must admit to my very own extreme stupidity. I have on MANY occasions been extremely stupid but I rarely admit it. Most times I look around to see if anyone has seen my faux pas and if I'm clear of witnesses I just move on like nothing has happened. This can be the case in something as innocent as spilling my food down my chest or as dangerous as driving through a stop sign. In either case I am being stupid and could end up with severe consequences. In the case of eating like a pig I could end up having to buy a whole new outfit, (Oh how horrible!) but if I drive through a stop sign I could end up killing someone and/or myself.
In my long and illustrious (?) life I have found myself doing some incredibly dumb things. Most of these I have managed to blot from my memory but a few still do stick in my mind. Two of them have to do with my cars. There was the time that I was driving my big 8 passenger van down the road doing about 55 when I thought I was shifting it into "overdrive", ( Which was an extra gear that we used when going over 50 mph. It was supposed to save gas but I have my doubts about that. It think it was just a marketing gimmick.). Anyway . . . I was rolling along singing with the radio while muttering under my breath about the most recent annoyance caused by Husband, when I automatically reached for the gear shift but instead of putting the car into overdrive I shifted into REVERSE. (It was an automatic transmission so don't ask me what I was thinking other than the fact that I was NOT thinking. ) Well, there was a God awful grinding noise and the engine died. Thankfully I was not on the expressway or any other large and crowded highway. I was on a large road that allowed me to do 55 mph but there was not much traffic so I just pulled the van to the side of the road and sat shaking at the thought of having killed my van and how was I going to explain this to Husband. Thankfully the car started back up as if nothing had happened. I NEVER told Husband or another living soul because it really was a stupid thing to do. If I wasn't making a point in todays blog that story may have gone to the grave with me.
Stupidity #2 that I will share with you is the day I was backing my car out of the driveway and almost ripped off the drivers door. I know you are trying to picture how I could manage that idiocy so I will enlighten you. The car was parked up near the garage door and for what ever reason I wanted/needed to move the car back to the other end of the driveway. (It probably had something to do with the kids wanting to play in the driveway.) I got into the car, turned it on but left the door wide open . . . I was just backing up a couple of feet so why bother shutting the door. It all would have been fine except for the very large oak tree that stood on the left side of the drive way. I knew the tree was there, it had ALWAYS been there so why did I think I could back past it with the car door open? Who knows . . . but I do know that as soon as the door jammed into the side of the tree and nearly folded in two I knew I was a complete idiot !! Husband was not home at the time and all I could think of was how to cover this up so he would never know. That was not even near to being possible so I had to admit my stupidity and take the car to the body shop on the corner to have them fix my mess.
So with all those proofs of just how dumb I can be I guess setting fire to my recipe box isn't all that bad. But considering I had just had a run in with melting the plastic glasses on the back burner on my stove you really would have thought I would be more attentive and careful. NOT !! The other night I was cooking dinner for our house guests. I had taken my little wooden recipe box from the cabinet and put it down on the stove. (I LOVE these ceramic cook top electric stoves but they are dangerous. It is all to easy to use them as extended counter space, which I do all the time.) I took out the recipe I needed and pushed the box to the back of the stove because I would be using the oven to cook dinner. Mid way through preparing the meal I decided I needed to make some rice to accompany the fish I was baking. I got out the pot for the rice, added the water and butter and turned on the burner. I SWEAR to you I looked to make sure I had the right burner turned on but . . . Yup, you guessed it. The next minute I'm wondering what that odd smell was. Thankfully I realized what I had done before there was any major damage, smoke or flames but I did have to grab to box and throw it into the sink to keep it from burning any more. The house filled with smoke, doors had to get opened and fans had to be turned on full blast. All this was made even more imbarasing because not only did we have our house guests but we also had invited another couple over for dinner so I had 5 witnesses to my latest dumb move.
I am seriously hoping these are not the early signs of dementia but considering my past I think I'm good to go on that front. I will just chalk it up to being an idiot and not focusing on what I am doing. Trying to do three things at once is not a good thing for me to do. Considering I can't walk and chew gum at the same time I guess this is all to be expected. Add to that I am a blond and over the age of 75 so maybe I'm not doing so bad after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment