We are all going to die . . . we all know that the two sure things in life are "Death and Taxes" . Some very cleaver, (or stupid, depends on how you look at i)t, people manage to avoid taxes but death is totally unavoidable. It is going to happen to all of us.
But some of us seem to have a death wish. They do REALLY REALLY STUPID things that can hasten their demise and yet they keep on doing them. Take for instance diving off cliffs, parachuting from airplanes, running into burning buildings, driving the speed limit in the left lane on the highways of Florida. All of these can cause your early death. (The last of these is the most dangerous!) And yet people persist each and every day in doing these stupid things.
The Man does not do any of the above things. He survived the Vietnam war, he flew helicopters all over Germany and the USA, he raised 2 children, and yet now in his "golden" years he seems to have a desire to die. It could be that these "Golden Years" are anything but golden, more like rust covered rotten tomatoes, but none the less we are alive and I do enjoy each and every day that I wake up and can stand on my own two feet.
Apparently The Man does not share my zest for life because he keeps doing the same stupid things over and over again ! What would those stupid things be ? He keeps waking ME up from a sound sleep. ON PURPOSE !!!!!! It is one thing when your partner is snoring or talking in their sleep or even getting up ten times a night to pee, (All of those fit my profile) but those are things you can't help. They are just part of your anatomy and you have no control over them. But purposely waking a sleeping woman is grounds for a long and painful death.
The Man and I have been together for 6, (SIX) years. Husband and I were married for 46, (FORTY SIX), years. Over the span of our forty six years of marriage Husband did manage to figure out just what would piss me off and what he should NEVER do. I give him a lot of credit for learning as our lives together progressed. The Man seems to be getting stupider as the years pass. When I first met him he was a good listener, he cooked for me, he made decisions on his own and he would never consider "Poking The Bear". Fast forward six years and all I can say is that The Man's COPD must be depriving his brain of oxygen because he is getting dumber by the day.
I LOVE to sleep. It my escape and my "alone" time. I do not sleep during the day because then I don't sleep as well at night. I have recently been diagnosed with sleep apnea but have not yet gotten a machine to correct this condition. Apparently this sleep disorder disturbs the quality of my sleep and that is why I am waking up tired. On the nights that I can manage to get 10 hours of sleep I fell pretty good when I wake up but anything less than that causes me to be tired all day. Now that WE know this to be a fact you would think that SOME OF US would respect the sleep habits of their partners. But instead of that happening Mr. "Dead Brain Cell" seems to be on a mission to keep me to a minimum of sleep.
Do you think The Man has an agenda? Do you think The Man is trying to get rid of me? If I didn't know just how incapable of taking care of himself he is I might start to wonder. Then again . . . maybe it's all an act ??????
What ever the case The Man is going to die long before he gets rid of me.
Usually when The Man needs me to wake up he will stand at the bottom of the bed and pat or shake my feet until I wake up. He DID learn early on in our relationship that calling my name does not work because I can't hear for S--T once I take out my hearing aids. Then he tried patting me on the back but by doing that he was in danger of getting hit because he was standing way to close to my arms. So he settled on standing at the foot of the bed, far enough away from flailing arms, and patting my feet. This worked well for both of us so why he decided to change his approach mystifies me.
Now when The Man decides I need to wake up he turns on all the lights so that I feel like I am being interrogated by the CIA. Perhaps it is my Vampire blood that causes me to react to bright light in a darkened room but what ever the case it is down right painful to me. At night The Man likes to watch TV in bed and I hate the way the light on the TV screen brightens and dims depending on what is being shown on the screen. I can't fall asleep because it is almost like a strobe light that kicks my brain into spasms. I have to cover my head completely in order to fall asleep.
With that in mind if SOMEONE turns on a light right over my head while I am sleeping I wake with a jolt and sit up ready to go to battle. It's not pretty. So yesterday morning when we were in a motel in St. Augustine, Florida and my world was suddenly shattered by a bright light in my face I jumped up ready to kill the attacking hoard of invading Huns. As I slowly came to my senses I realized I was in bed in our motel room and it was The Man who had disturbed my sleep. As bad as it was to have been awakened this way when I turned to look at the clock and realized it was only 7:15 AM I was ready to kill. I was so angry I probably could have killed an entire army of marauding invaders. I looked over at The Man sitting quietly on his bed staring at me and said, rather loudly, "It's seven fifteen !!!!!!!!!! What are you doing???????????? "
Let me take a moment here to explain the past 3 days. On Tuesday we drove The Man's brother and sister in law up to St. Augustine. None of them had ever been there so it seemed like a good idea. The Man drove the first half of the trip and I drove the last 2 hours. We got 2 rooms in a very nice motel and settled in for the night. It was cold and rainy when we arrived so we were glad to get into our rooms. No one wanted to go out to get dinner and no one seemed to want pizza delivery. I knew this was not going to end well. Finally our travel companions went out to check out the neighborhood and brought back an Italian hero sandwich from the gas station across the road. Not exactly the best dinner in the world but I was hungry and tired enough that I ate my half and actually enjoyed it. The Man took one bite and decided it was too spicy so he had 2 cookies and called the dinner. We were asleep by 8:30 with plans to meet at 8:30 in the morning down at the complimentary motel breakfast. I woke up at 7"15 when The Man's alarm went off but relaxed in bed till he had all his morning routines and rituals over and done with. Having sleep nearly 11 hours I wasn't feeling bad at all. After a decent breakfast of scrambled eggs and sausage and waffles we loaded into the car and drove into town. It was still pretty chilly so we decided to drop Dean and Lisa at the tour trolly with the idea of picking them up after a couple of hours. The Man and I then drove down to the ocean where we found a little pizza shop. The Man wanted ice cream for lunch but I insisted on pizza. It was excellent pizza ! After about an hour of driving around we went back to the motel where The Man promptly fell asleep for 3 hours. I took a long walk, played on my iPad and then after getting a call from D & L returned to town to meet them. The 3 of us walked all around the grounds at The Fountain of Youth. We did drink the water but it was disgusting. After a couple of hours of that we headed back to the motel with a stop in between at Publix to buy some fried chicken for dinner. I figured that was the best of our options. (The Man does NOT go out to eat.). We texted The Man to let him know we were on our way back so he would be up and awake. The chicken was good ! But The Man only ate ONE WING ! By now I am thinking this is not going to end well. He said he wasn't feeling well, no energy . . . DUH !!!!!!!!!!! Because he had napped ALL afternoon and had eaten nothing but a mouth full of egg and one slice of pizza all day he sat up watching TV eating cookies until after 10 that night. (I have given up on the whole eating thing. He knows better, he won't listen, so that is his choice.). I rolled over at 9:30, tired of all the walking and fresh air and feeling good. I hurried my head under the covers and went to sleep.
Thursday we were driving home. There was NO HURRY to check out of the motel. Check out was at 11:00 so WHY WHY WHY did The Man have to set his alarm for 7:15 in the morning is still one of the greatest mysteries of all times. Because he had slept the entire day on Wednesday he woke up before his alarm and felt the need to wake me. In our room we had one of those little coffee makers so you can have a cup of coffee before heading down to the hotel breakfast. The Man had used this little machine the previous day and for what ever reason used BOTH of the cups that were provided. So here he was at 7:15 AM with NO cup in which to make his NECESSARY morning coffee. Thus . . . I had to be awake to accompany him in his misery. Once I got my anger under control I told him he was quite capable of waling the 5 steps from our room to the elevator which would bring him downstairs right outside the breakfast room door where he could get fifty seven cups of freaking coffee !!!!!!! Again . . . DUH !!! I think at this point The Man may have realized he was very close to a long and painful death if he did not leave the room immediately. When I came out of the bathroom, where I had gone to try to calm down, The Man was not in the room. A VERY VERY good move on his part.
We were home in our house at noon. I drove most of the way. When we got home The Man took a nap and I went to Publix to get dinner,
Today I am going over to my daughter's house to stay with her 2 kids for the weekend. I am looking forward to spending some time away from this nut house and maybe getting some sleep. My grand kids know better than to wake up Grandma !!!
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