Do you find Rubik's cubes entertaining? I sure as hell don't. They are frustrating as hell and I usually want to take a hammer to them. You spend hours trying to figure the damn things out, looking at them from all different angles, twisting and turning hoping to make some sense out of the stupid thing and then end up tossing it against the wall and stomping it to pieces.
I married a Rubik cube. The man is a total enigma and as much as I twist and turn to try to figure him out and make any sense of him I still want to toss him against a wall and stomp him to death.
BUT . . . There is hope. God has spared the man this long and is finally giving me some help. I've joined a group to help me cope with my eating habits and in the process I am learning to let God give me a hand with every thing in my life. Not that this is a huge stretch for me, I have always called on the Lord for help. Some times screaming, "DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN HELP ME!", but those don't really count because I am usually in a closet or the bathroom screaming into a pillow or a towel. But the Lord has heard even those prayers and is helping me to get a handle on life. My crazed eating has calmed for the moment, I am feeling better physically and mentally and I am laughing at Husband more than wanting to kill him.
Today was a challenge though. I woke up hungry so I had some cereal. Did a mental assessment of my self and felt full and ready to tackle the day. H and I had some things to do out of the house and then took a drive to Sams Club for a supply run. Hadn't been there in well over a month so a lot of the basics were in short supply. I knew H wouldn't be up to walking the miles of aisles while I checked out everything so as soon as we arrived I got H to sit down in the food court, got him some pizza and a soda and off I went to shop. One problem . . . . the girl at the food counter screwed up my order and charged me for 2 orders of pizza instead of one. I put all 4 pieces (a single order consists of 2 pieces of pizza) down on the table by H and told him to eat what he could, I would be back. Now the group I have joined to loose some weight allows me to make my own food plan. I could have eaten pizza but I honestly was not hungry so I walked away. But then I got shopping and thinking . . . "UMmmmm, pizza. It sure did smell good and it sure did look good. And I really could have a piece . . ." So as I shopped I got my taste buds all set for those tasty bites of yummy pizza. As I rounded a corner into the patio furniture department in the back of the store there sat Husband. NO PIZZA in sight. I had a quick moment of panic as I walked over to where he was sitting and calmly asked where the pizza was.
HE THREW IT OUT ! He sat there staring up at me and told me in a totally calm and reasonable voice that he couldn't eat it so he threw it out. WHO THROWS OUT FOOD? screamed my mind but having learned all these wonderful tools to sanity I only said, "OH. . . Good." I turned to continue shopping muttering to myself as I walked away. I couldn't believe it. The man threw away 2 perfectly good and delicious pieces of pizza that I would have inhaled without giving it a thought. And then I would have beat myself up all day over eating it. The man saved me from myself and all I could think was what a "F'ing" idiot he was for tossing the pizza. It took me 2 aisles to calm down to the point of being able to laugh and forgive him. I owe him big time !
It doesn't end there. . . tonight just as I was about to go into the shower H is standing in our sink area looking totally lost. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he needed to plug in something. My mind says, "H has something in his hand that he wants to plug in some where." I'm thinking maybe his phone charger, or camera battery but he has nothing in his hands. As I am trying to process this he is poking at the outlet by the sink. I finally got it figured out that he wanted to check to see if the outlet was working and wanted something to plug into the outlet. Since his electric toothbrush and water pick are already plugged in I suggested he just turn them ON and if they worked then he would know the outlet worked. I didn't think that through well enough because H flicked the switch on the water pick and the entire bath room was instantly drenched. Naturally the effect of all the water pulsing out across the mirrored walls, ceiling and floor made H forget how to turn the machine OFF.
I just walked into the bathroom, shut the door and screamed into a towel.
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