I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP AT 8

Or at nine or ten or sometimes even eleven. It's ten PM and H is snoring and I am wandering. Yes I am tired and I will curse myself at 6:30 AM when the freaking alarm goes off but I can NOT fall asleep yet. I have the choice of laying down and tossing and turning for to or three hours before I actually fall into a sort of sound sleep or I can sit up and blog or play solitaire. I do love sitting here alone so I will take plan "B". The option of watching TV is not appealing because I am finding that most of the stuff on TV is crap. I would sit and watch movies or old TV series but then I would stay up ALL night. Got to find a happy medium somewhere.
Now if I had come in today and taken a nap on the bed around 3 or 4 I probably could have slept through the entire afternoon, evening AND night and been well rested when the alarm went off at dawn. But Ger would have missed dinner so that isn't an option. As you well know Ger can not find the kitchen, never mind prepare food for himself so if I want him to continue to heal I do have to feed the poor thing. It would be so easy to just let him starve to death but I do think I would miss him and then who would I write about?
Tomorrow we have to be up at sunrise to go have BRAIN MRI #5. Every three months its a PET scan or an MRI to make sure the cancer is still in remission. It's an easy thing to do and it is very reassuring. I may have lost my mind years ago but we know for a fact Ger still has his brain. I really wish the MRI showed how much of that brain was actually functioning. I still find myself in these strange conversations wondering how I got there and where the hell it is going. You know when you try to converse  with a two year old and they just keep saying, "WHAT?". That's what our conversations are like. Today we had lunch out and I spent the entire meal watching Ger watch other people. We are the old couple that you see never talking to each other. He is so distracted by EVERYTHING else around him thact I need not be present. And yet I still want to keep him around . . .  Go figure!