A watched pot never boils. That is one of the basic guarantees in life. But I can promise you even more. If you take that same stupid pot, fill it with water and put it on the burner the phone will ring, the door bell will buzz or you will have to pee and when you come back that damn pot will not only have boiled but totally evaporated every last drop of water and welded itself to the burner on your stove.
Call it MURPHY'S LAW, Karma or just plain dumb stupid bad luck but it IS going to happen.
The same holds true for the gas tank in the car. The day that you decide you will wait and get gas tomorrow, even though the needle is on slurp, THAT is the night you get the frantic phone call that requires you to race out to the car and drive 40 miles to pick up your kid, friend, husband who is stranded on the side of the highway locked out of their car in the pouring rain.
Doctors also have a knack for guaranteeing you have a hassle trying to get an appointment. You call their office and get the answering machine that doesn't give you a clue as to whether the doctor is in China or in one of the exam rooms. You leave a message and wait. . . 2 hours later you call back and leave a second message and wait. Three hours after that you decide you will walk out to the mail box and check to see if the mail has arrived only to hear your phone ringing. Naturally the phone is on the kitchen counter and you are at the furthest point away from that phone yet still able to hear it. You race back inside only to hear the "BEEP" that signals someone hanging up. So you immediately call the doctors office only to get that same freaking recording. By the end of the day you have a bladder infection and impacted bowels from not going to the bathroom all day for fear of the phone ringing while you are doing your business. (Thank heaven for mobile phones except that when I take them into the potty with me they usually fall into the tub or go skittering across the floor as I attempt to reach them while on the throne.)
Then there is that trip to the mail box that we took while waiting for the doctor's call. The mail ALWAYS comes at 4:00 PM except the day that you HAVE to get that bill/letter/form into the mail TODAY! You remember the piece of mail at 3:00 and race around to get it ready to go. Out to the mail box you rush just in time to see the mail man driving off into the proverbial sunset after having delivered the mail early that day.
It's like washing the car or cleaning the pool only to have a wild wind and rain storm blow through and dump all sorts of debris on the car and in the pool. Forget about cleaning the inside of the car, that will be the day husband decides to go pick up 12 bags of potting soil and mulch of which at least 3 of the bags have holes in them.
Load up the dish washer and turn it on . . . walk into the den only to find 2 dirty dishes and 5 glasses and cups that H has been hoarding. And that old cereal has been caked on that bowl for a week.
Do your big grocery shopping and I guarantee your fridge will stop working. Buy that turkey for a special dinner for the family and out of town guest and the oven will go haywire.
At the end of the day you just wonder how you could possibly have had so many things go wrong. But at least the day is over, you settle into that nice hot soothing bath and I GUARANTEE that doctor WILL finally call you back!
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