RACCOON POOP

Every so often our resident raccoon, (or one of his 300 Florida relatives), stops by our pool to have dinner and a poop. Raccoons are known to wash their food before consumption so our pool is the perfect dining spot. Our neighbors have various fruit trees where our masked marauders gather their dinner. They carry it to our yard, sit by the edge of the pool and dine in comfort. After which the old saying of, "What goes in must come out" takes effect. Little Rocky raccoon then meanders over to the other side of the pool where he squats and dumps, sometimes on the edge of the pool, sometimes IN the pool. To which I say, "EWWWWWWW, GROSS!".  I can tell you it isn't easy scooping raccoon poop from the pool.

And why do I mention this whole gross event? Well, poop seems to be a BIG thing in our lives these days. Between toilet training for the younger grand sons and Grand pa wearing protective covering I am consumed by poop. It's the topic on every ones mind. Smith seems to have finally come to terms with his poop issues.  Finn is still a work in progress but getting very good at making it to the potty in time and Husband, well lets just say the poor guy has issues.

When it comes to this most natural of bodily functions everyone has their comfort zone. A newspaper and a cup of coffee, only after eating, morning and night, regular as clock work or random as when ever the mood strikes you. It's a personal thing that once you are taken out of your comfort zone becomes AN ISSUE !  Some folks I know can't poop in public places, others can't stop pooping no matter where they are. But I guarantee you that once you enter a hospital all power of poop leaves you completely. And hospitals will NOT let you go home until you GO! First they screw up your system with their surgery, diet and irregular sleep pattern and then they tell you to poop. I speak from personal experience IT DOES NOT HAPPEN!  It's like telling you to sneeze on command. NOT !  So take all this history of poop and consider what H is now going through. He has not been out of bed in weeks.  His body is shutting down in so many ways, he is not eating and barely drinking BUT . . . Everyone wants him to poop! This is a very private guy we are talking about. Things like this were NEVER discussed in our many years of marriage and now he is supposed to go on demand in front of the entire staff of Palm Beach Hospice. Once again I say, "It's NOT happening!". Yet everyone continues to ask,"Has he 'gone' yet? When was the last time he 'went?'". I can tell them right now it's not going to happen if he can help it. After all,  could you poop laying down? I don't think I could. Not even with a belly full of nasty liquids meant to make you go. Poor Husband! He keeps pointing to the bathroom and I keep repeating that he isn't strong enough and he can't get up. He then either gets pissed off at me to stop telling him this or he gets a sad yet pained expression that tells me he knows he can't get up but he REALLY REALLY wants to. It's pitiful and painful to watch and frustrating as Hell for both of us.

Maybe I should take him out to sit by the side of the pool . . .