THE WORLDS BEST PINEAPPLE

I never know how to pick fresh fruit at the grocery store.  Should I knock on the watermelon ? Should I sniff the cantaloupe ? Should I squeeze the pineapple ?  HOW are you supposed to tell if these fruits are ready to eat ? I'm sure they have been picked weeks in advance of their ripening just so they will make the trip from the farm to the store without rotting in the back of a truck. So how am I supposed to know which one of the kumquats are ready for human consumption ? (And how am I supposed to know what the hell a kumquat is ?)

There I stand in the produce section of Publix sniffing and squeezing the fruit all to no advantage because I honestly do not know what I am doing ? Just what is it I am supposed to be looking for ?

I went to the farmers market with Keri while I was in Maryland.  She asked the "farmer" for a watermelon. He asked her when she was planning on eating it. Tonight ?  Tomorrow ?  Next week ? Then he started knocking on the watermelons and after playing a chorus of Yankee Doodle on a table of melons he selected one that,"would be perfect for dinner that night."  Sure enough, it was just right! The farmer apparently knew exactly what he was doing.  Did all the melons sound the same to me? YUP!  I couldn't tell one from another but there is apparently something to the sound of a ripe watermelon.

Now all knocking and sniffing does me no good when I am shopping for fresh produce BUT when it comes to picking my very own, home grown pineapple and knowing exactly when to PICK it, I am a PRO !
A couple of years ago I bought a pineapple at the store, brought it home and proceeded to cut it up so we could have fresh pineapple to nibble on.  It was OK, not a lot of flavor and not quite ripe but it  was tasty any way.  I took the top off that pineapple and placed it in a large empty flower pot in my back yard. Didn't bury it, didn't do anything special to it, just plopped it in the pot where I ignored it for several months. It didn't rot so I figured it must be growing. A few months later it sprouted large green pointy, sharp leaves that continued to grow larger and larger until I had a huge lovely green plant. By now family and friends were also watching it to see where this was all going. One day I noticed a bumpy round circle in the very center of the leaves and that continued to get larger and larger until it became the beginnings of a real pineapple. This pineapple grew and grew until it got as large as any pineapple in the store. Now I was back to square one . . .  WHEN DO YOU PICK A PINEAPPLE ?  Along comes "youtube" where you can find anything. Sure enough there is a video of some guy and his back yard pineapples telling me to wait until the fruit turns green and then yellow.  Every day I am checking this thing and I think it is turning green from its original brown but it is rather hard to tell. At this point the Gods intervened and set me up to travel for 3 weeks. I figured the worst that would happen would be the pineapple would rot or be eaten by local wild life while I was away. I left town and thought about my pineapple every day I was gone.
I returned this past Saturday morning at about 12:30 AM and promptly went into the back yard with my flashlight and VOILA ! There was my beautiful golden pineapple just waiting for me to pick it. I restrained myself until Sunday when Smith arrived with his family and the first thing we did was to go out and PICK THE  PINEAPPLE, take it inside and cut it open. (Smith has been helping me care for our golden treasure all these months.  He has watered it and talked to it and anxiously waited for just the right moment to harvest our prize.)

BEST PINEAPPLE EVER !!! I have NEVER tasted anything like this. Sooooooooo  sweet and juicy it is like eating liquid heaven. Smith helped with the whole process and watched with fascination as we surgically removed the tender sweet center.
 He took his first bite and spit it out !     Guess who doesn't like pineapple !

I guess I will have to plant a cookie tree !