THE GREAT TOOTH SCAM

I have just returned from my dentist, (who I happen to REALLY like A LOT) and SHE has informed me I am in for a FOUR THOUSAND dollar procedure by one of her associates to dig out an old tooth and implant a fake new tooth in it's place. I don't think my dentist will see any of this money but then again who knows. The point is $4,000 is a lot of money for one freaking little tooth waaaaaaaaaay in the back of a seventy year old lady's mouth. When you consider said old broad may not live to see 71 never mind 100.

 I asked Doctor B what would happen if we took the old rotting tooth out waaaaaaaaaaaaay in the back of my mouth and then DID NOTHING !?  You would think I just killed her dog, if she had a dog. The look of shock and horror that crossed her face equalled that of my saying I hated the color purple. (Which happens to be her favorite color!) Once she regained her normal heart rate she explained how my mouth needed that tooth to be there so that I would chew properly. (She has apparently never seen me inhale my food.) How, if that space was left vacant my upper tooth would start to "drop" into the empty space below. Now THAT sounds kind of cool !  Like who would not want a six inch long tooth????  I could get into Guinness Book of Records for the longest molar in the world. FINALLY something I could make money with !

If you think about it, how important are half of these teeth anyway ? Don't ask your dentist because they will have an answer for every single one of the pearly whites.  "This little one is for biting, this little one is for grinding, this little one is for chewing and this little one is for tearing and this little one is for going chomp chomp all the way home."  BUT, Take one look at a toddler with their 2 teeth on the top and 2 teeth on the bottom and watch them tear up some dinner.  DO NOT get between them and a piece of pizza that mom has put in front of them. And anyone who has stuck their finger into the mouth of a 3 month old with NO teeth and had that little one chomp down on you KNOWS for a fact that kid does not require teeth !

TEETH are way overrated !  Especially if you have had them for 70 years and they are on the down hill side of their life. Lets face the fact that dental techniques were not what they are today back in the 50's. If you had a cavity the "dentist" pretty much stuck something equivalent to today's version of Silly Putty or liquid lead or aluminum into the hole and hoped for the best. Things did not improve until that entire generation of dentists died off somewhere in the early 21st century and let the new ideas take over. Way too late for folks like me.  The damage has been done.  There is no reversing the mess that was made so please don't try to get this tired old mouth looking like that of a 20 year old.

Let's toss those teeth out as they die ! Give them a dignified and quiet burial in the trash can and leave the space vacant. Do not try to replace the old resident who has served us well. Just let them die in peace and wait for their companions to join them one by one and their host body slowly falls apart. In the time that is left, be it one or thirty years that one tooth is NOT going to make that much of a difference. But . . . . the $4,000 sure will !