HUGE SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY

In recent months here in South Florida I have made a huge scientific discovery concerning gravity. Like Sir Isaac Newton and his famed apple, I too have almost literally "fallen upon" the fact that Florida gravity is much stronger than Long Island, New York Gravity.  Well, That really is not true as I did not so much fall DOWN as not being able to jump UP.  But let  me explain . . .

Back in 1970 when I was 25 years old and weighing about 135 pounds and living on Long Island New  York I was teaching Kindergarten. As a kindergarten teacher I was very active and involved with my little people and participated in all of our activities including jumping rope, skipping, hopping, dancing, crawling and pretty much any thing else you can picture a 4-5 year old doing. (With the exception of picking their nose and scratching their butts. I drew the line at those 2 activities.) Suffice to say I could keep up with the best of them.

Now in 2016 it is 46 years later, I am about 46 pounds heavier and having moved to Florida the gravity seems to have increased accordingly. For some reason I CAN NOT get my body off the ground !( You should see me trying to get up from sitting on the ground. That one is worth a fortune on America's Funniest Home Videos!)  I can  NOT jump to save my soul !  It is like I am super glued to the floor. My brain just refuses to even consider the mechanics of a jump. I stand here swinging my arms and butt psyching myself up getting my mo jo running and nothing happens. I just can't get my feet to come UP off the floor. I KNOW what I have to do but I can't do it!  Same thing for SKIPPING. I CAN'T SKIP !  I used to skip all the time !  All over the place.   I skipped instead of walking!  I LOVED to skip. Now I can't skip to save my soul !  My skipping part of my brain has shut down and sealed itself up tight......

                                                                        OR

THE GRAVITY IN SOUTH FLORIDA IS MUCH STRONGER THAN THE GRAVITY ON LONG ISLAND NEW YORK !!!     And I am going to win the Nobel Prize in Physics for making this discovery !!    It's the only possible explanation I can come up with that makes any sense.