I WANT MY MOM

I have been spending a LOT of time with the grand kids lately so I am hearing that phrase quite a bit. I am also coming to feel that way myself after being "on the road" so much compounded with switching my mental health medications.  Yup! I'm at the point of wanting to curl up in a ball in a corner some where, stick my thumb in my mouth and put a paper or possibly plastic bag over my head for at least a month. (I was a hopeless "thumb sucker' for YEARS as a kid. My first grade teacher went so far as to tie my arm behind my back. I vividly remember sitting at my desk in school with my left arm tied behind me. Can you picture that happening in this day and age? And by the way, it did not work. I continued to suck my thumb until I was about 11 !)
There is too much pressing in on me these days, over extended travel plans which lead to too much spending. Not enough time at home to regroup and catch up on "paper work" which results in miss bill payments which adds to the stress. Trying to make ALL the grand kids happy is an impossible task, not by their standards but by mine. I always want to do more or spend more time with them. I joke that I will sleep when I am dead but often think that may be sooner than any of us think if I don't get more sleep!
Kent is home all summer babysitting 3 kids in a home that has no yard to put them out in. Why do people live in apartments? Yuck ! I want to help there.
Keri just moved to Florida and Kaelin is having such a hard time leaving her friends and home in Maryland so I want to help there.
Kyle is in Georgia with teenager Roman who just doesn't want to do anything mom and dad expect of him. I want to help there.
And then I decide I should change medications! Not one of my brightest decisions of my life.  RIGHT BEFORE I leave for 2 months in Alaska I go to a new OBGYN who I really really liked. It was just a routine visit but we got talking and in the course of the conversation I mention that I have been on Paxil for about 20 years. This sens up red flags to her and we discuss some side effects that I did get from it and WE decide it would be in my best interest to switch me over to a different anti-depressant. EVEN THOUGH I am leaving for 2 months this is the plan. No problem !  She even goes so far as to foolishly sat, "You may not even need ANY medication any more!"  Like mental health is like the common cold and cures itself after ten years. I think not ! HELLO ! The new medication is okay but it is NOT doing for me what my old meds did. It appears I am in fact a true basket case who is in need of drugs. I believe we have established this fact several times over the past several years but now there has been a documented field test to prove the point. We also now have documented proof that not all doctors are smart. AND not all patients are smart, as I have proven as well.
What I am going to do from this point is yet to be determined. If I'm going to do my very best as a grand ma then I better get my medications straightened out. I can't function on 4 hours sleep a night. But then if I sleep less I will have more time to catch up on all the other stuff that need doing.
I guess I'll just have to sleep on it!