If and when I should ever find myself in the position of being single again and a random man walks into my life and a friend says, "Oh sure you should go out with him. He is so nice" would you PLEASE tell me to run for my life and don't look back.
Lately I find myself thinking back to the year between Husband dying and The Man entering into my life. I remember how HAPPY I was to be "FREE". Forty seven years of marriage, the last three of which I was helping poor husband deal with lung cancer. It was not easy nor do I ever want to do it again but I don't regret a single moment of it. When Husband finally lost his battle I was relieved. Not relieved that he was gone but relieved of all the pressure and endless days of exhaustion trying to keep everyone OK. (If you have gone through this you know what I am talking about. If you haven't I pray you never have to experience it.)
Anyway . . . I was sooooooooooo relieved and happy to only have myself to worry about for that way too short 13 months until The Man arrived in my life. I tell everyone that God put me where he needed me to be. And I DO believe that but honestly, some days, I think I should have looked the other way. This is not to say I have not enjoyed the past 7 years with The Man. Because of him I have taken several exciting road trips to Alaska, gone Halibut fishing way off the coast of Alaska, spent many enjoyable summers living on the farm here in the UP, taken a cruise to Cuba and a few smaller cruises around the islands of the Caribbean Sea. Wonderful adventures all.
BUT . . . I AM TIRED of once again being the care giver of an ailing man. You know my stand on the male gender and my lack of faith in their intellect. When Husband was ill I blamed his lack of smarts on chemo. For The Man I blame it on his lack of oxygen getting to his brain because of his COPD. But quite honestly I think both of these men have the same problem. They just DON'T THINK !
Today is the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. I got up at 7 AM to go to 8:30 mass. Mass was wonderful, 7 AM was not. It was 42 degrees this morning when I left the house and The Man was all warm and cozy under the covers. When I got home from mass the sun had warmed up the world to almost 70 which felt wonderful. Until I entered the house to find The Man sitting at the kitchen table in his underwear and the thermostat set at 80. I should have just turned around and went back outside but I attempted to explain to The Man that it was LOVELY outside, warm and sunny. Perhaps he should turn off the heat and open the windows? I won't even tell you how THAT suggestion was met. So I went into the spare room to change into shorts and tank top and to open the window. The next discussion was about picking up his almost 13 year old grand daughter to bring her to the farm for an over night stay, along with her 11 year old cousin. These 2 young ladies have extremely crappy lives and so I encourage The Man to invite them out here. (Grand daughter LOVES the farm and when she is here she is no bother at all.) (At least I don't find her to be a bother. It's another story for her grandfather.) The "production" begins with The Man's" question of . . . "How is she getting here?" Damn stupid question since her dad is a looser and her mother, (The Man's daughter) is not in the child's life. (Super Crappy life for this kid) So naturally when dealing with this child I ALWAYS pick her up and drop her off yet The Man ALWAYS has to rant and rave about why HE ALWAYS has to be the one to drive. (He doesn't drive, I do!)
Moving on from that idiotic discussion we now get into The Man's plan. He will drive to get the girls and we will stop at his brother's house on the way home for a "short" visit. These 2 girls no more want to visit more grownups than I do BUT this is The Man's plan. When I suggest we make a stop to get the girls a burger so they can have something to eat while we "visit" that idea is met with much huffing and puffing and reasons why we shouldn't. I slowly explain that we are picking the girls up at noon and they WILL be hungry. ( Teenagers are ALWAYS hungry) and this will give them something to do while we visit. I also say I will pay for their lunch because that way I didn't think I would have to listen to the rants about their choices of food items. (GOOD GOD . . . was this man ever a kid???)
Once we arrive at our visit it is about 300 degrees out in the yard where everyone is sitting and at the mosquitos are having a feast on all of us. BUT . . . The Man, who never goes anywhere, is now seated by the CAMP FIRE and is loving life. Everyone else is dying of heat stroke. The girls eat their lunch, the mosquitos continue to eat their lunch and I am ready to pass out. After about 45 minutes I suggest we should get going home and I am met with resistance on the part of The Man. I let it go for another 15 minutes and then finally say, "WE REALLY have to go. I am melting here." (All the other parties involved in this visit are moving into the shade and drinking tons of water.) I walked over to the car, turned it on, opened all the windows and said, "Lets go!" Mr Grumpy shuffled himself to the car, grump grump, grump . . . said good bye and as we are pulling out of the driveway he comes to a full stop. I look at him and he is bright red, trying to catch his breath because he is overheated and exhausted. DUH !!!! DUH !!!! DUH!!!!! I swear to God I could have wrapped his oxygen hose around his neck and strangled him. As he is sitting there catching his breath and cooling down he says, "Wow, it was really hot there. I was ready to go a half hour ago". Like I was the reason we stayed as long as we did !!!
I'm not sure if I am living in the same universe as The Man but I do know that I will NEVER EVER live with another man !!!
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