A FLORIDA RIDDLE

HOW MANY BRAIN CELLS DOES A FLORIDIAN LOOSE WHEN A HURRICANE IS PREDICTED?

The answer is: ALL THEIR BRAIN CELLS !  AND THEN SOME !

Once again the whole of South Florida is in PANIC mode because there is a possibility of a hurricane hitting our coast on SUNDAY.   TODAY IS TUESDAY !  I could pack for a year in Tibet in this amount of time and yet the Florida Fools are totally INSANELY driving around filling their cars with gas, because why?  If a hurricane hits here you will NOT BE ABLE TO DRIVE ANYWHERE !!!

The fools are mobbing the grocery stores tearing things off the shelves as if the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE was upon us and our remaining years of existence depend on the amount of food we can horde TODAY!      HELLO . . .  DON'T FILL YOUR FREEZER AND FRIDGE with food you idiots. If the power goes out everything will ROT ! And yet the traffic is like the Indy 500 with folks racing to beat one another to the gas stations and grocery stores.  EVERYONE, (well, almost everyone), is on HIGH ALLERT !!!!!!!!!! AND going nuts yet again.
How about staying home and storm proofing your home and digging out the 47 cans of tuna that you have stored in your pantry from last years storm?  Put up your hurricane shutters. Start filling containers with water that you already have at home in your filtration system.  BUT OH NO, we must run around town like headless chickens making everyone who has to be out and about totally miserable and endangering everyone's life because you are so focused on buying and getting ready.

To top this all off I find myself dealing with another fool who is not only in Hurricane Panic Mode but is a CONDO NAZI !  Perhaps I have mentioned that I am moving in 2 weeks to a larger condo in a lovely community very close by.  At least I THOUGHT it was a nice community until I encountered MS "S" who is the Secretary of the Board of Directors for the new community. To start with the registration process to apply to rent in this area was quite the adventure. At a cost of $250 to the management company just to accept our forms and process, (READ),  them I figured we were in a good area.  Once the paperwork was checked over and over and over, requiring several emails, phone calls and faxes the OK was given to the Board so they could set up an interview with Dwayne and I.  The first communication was an email from Ms "S" asking me to call her to set up a day and time to come in for the 90 minute interview. When I called her I knew I was in trouble! She is ONE OF THOSE people who have been given a little authority and now think they are the RISEN CHRIST.  Or perhaps in her case she thinks she is Moses or Elijah and her word is straight from GOD.  There is no "discussion" there is only "lecture".  She was "very upset" to hear that Dwayne is not in Florida right now and will not be attending her 90 minute spiel on the rules and regulations regarding residency in "THE OAKS". I was told to make sure I take GOOD notes and tell DWAYNE EVERYTHING that is covered at today's meeting. I assured her I would be very diligent in my note taking and Dwayne would not cause any chaos in the community once he arrived. We set a time for the meeting and I was told what I needed to bring with me. (I wrote this all down to be sure to get it right!) That conversation took place Thursday of last week. Today is Tuesday and we are scheduled to meet at 4:30 this afternoon. My day is clear of all other appointments so I can FOCUS on my interview and my folder contains all necessary papers. And yet I STILL got a phone call from a panicked Ms "S"  while I was out this morning. There was a frantic message that she has been trying to reach me ALL morning, (I left at 9:30 and was home at  11:00). She was out "PREPARING FOR THE HURRICANE" and needed to make sure I had remembered our meeting at, (her exact words)  "I think at 4:15 or 4:30 today". She is VERY BUSY "preparing for the hurricane", (background noise and her saying"it's crazy out here!") She had to remind me of the list of items to bring, (2 things), and would I please PLEASE call her before this afternoon so she knows I am coming!!!
After muttering about what an A-Hole she is I promptly called her back to reassure her I had it all under control and would be there at FOUR THIRTY with all the paper work she had asked for. At this point she went into a rant about how she has been trying to reach me at my out of town number but it's been disconnected and she had to go through the paper work to find my home number blaugh blaugh blaugh !  I tried to tell her I don't now and never have had an out of town number since I moved to Florida 13 years ago and that perhaps she was trying to call Dwayne but she would have none of it, INSISTING it was MY number and implying I had given false information on what ever forms she was looking at.
At this point, after fighting the Hurricane traffic crazies I was in no mood to deal with this moron so I just said what ever and will take 3 Valium before my 4:30 meeting with Ms "S".
I really hope this is the LAST time I EVER have any dealing with this winner!  With any luch she will get blown away by the hurricane !!