SPARE PARTS

I figure by the time I am 100, (which I fully intend to live to),  there will be nothing left of the original me except my brain. And of all the body parts I have my brain is probably the one that should be replaced.
Last year I had my right knee replaced with some sort of metal, artificial joint. It works perfect and I no longer have the pain that I had been dealing with every time I had to go up or down stairs. It was a good decision to put up with the surgery and rehab after surgery because now I have ONE body part that doesn't hurt. It still feels weird and I have yet been able to kneel on it but as long as it doesn't hurt I will put up with that. Of course my left knee is in need of surgery some time down the road but for now havin one "good" leg is enough to stand on.

Unfortunately my left shoulder is now the joint to focus on these days. Ever since I broke the the bone at the top of my arm over 20 years ago I have had trouble raising my arm any higher than my shoulder. As my daughter noted when I showed her this the other day, I look like a T Rex with tiny little arms. ( You had to be there to see her imitation of me to really appreciate this comparison.)

The shoulder has become increasingly painful and the limited range of motion is starting to effect my activities. (Fortunately I can still work the TV remote.) With all this in mind I finally bit the provabial bullet and went to see the Hand to Shoulder doctor. She took some x rays and promptly told me I needed a new shoulder . . . No if's, and's or but's . . . The old shoulder needs to be replaced.  Unlike rotator cuff surgery a shoulder replacement means taking out the old joint and putting in a new one. According to the doctor I will only be in the hospital one day and, depending on the type of joint she puts in, I will NOT need rehab !!!!!!!!!!   That is what sold me on the plan to do this surgery the beginning of January. By the end of Febuary I will be totally healed and ready to rock and roll with our winter guests visiting us in Florida.

The bonus to all these surgeries is that I have found the perfect weight loss plan. Each time I have surgery I manage to loose about 15 pounds. The trick of course is keeping the weight off but if my arm is in a sling for a month I can't get food to my mouth as easily as I do now.  That and the fact that pain pills and anesthesia totally destroy my appetite and thus force me to break all the bad habits that I have slowly slid back into.

At the rate that I am having body parts replaced not only will I be bionic by the time I am 100 years old I will also have reached my ideal weight !  I'm going to be the best looking corpse in the cemetary!