The entire state of Florida is in "Panic" mode. Everywhere people are running around like Chicken Little yelling, A STORM IS COMING !!! A STORM IS COMING !!!
It's hurricane season here and you would think by now people would realize that unless you are living in a cardboard box or trailer home or a multi million dollar home right ON the ocean you pretty much can guarantee you will be OK. Houses down here are built with hurricanes in mind and are sturdy and "impact" proof. There is a chance the "lake", (AKA drainage ditch for the swamp that constitutes most of Florida), in your back yard may overflow and dampen your floor but I am pretty sure you will NOT be swept away in the ragging flood waters that plague most of the mid west. Nor will there be a freak mud slide cascading down the 1/2 foot elevation that is the local dump. A hurricane is no reason to panic, rather it is a time to get smart and check out your home and surroundings to be sure there is nothing sitting on your lanai or yard that could potentially become an incoming missal once the wind gets whipping. It is time to check on your flash lights and batteries that you haven't even seen since the last storm and fill the bath tub with water. Wait ??? Fill the bath tub with water ??? Do you plan on taking a bubble bath in order to weather out the storm? I never did really understand the reason for this. We don't have wells with pumps here in Florida so there really is very little chance of loosing our water supply. But that is one of the things on the list of "How to prepare for a hurricane". I honestly do not think I could or would drink any Florida water that has been sitting in my bath tub for days. Not when I have several large 3 gallon jugs of water sitting in my closet.
So as the rest of the population of South Florida is scrambling around buying up cases of dog food because all the tuna and canned meats have already been snatched up by the hordes of panicked residents I am sitting at home having a grand old time preparing for the storm in my very own way.
First and foremost is FOOD. I have been meaning to clean out my fridge and freezer and pantry for months now and this is the perfect motivation to get me cleaning. In case the electricity goes out I have to be prepared to survive for several days before the Royal Canadian Mounted Police come to rescue me. OH Wait . . . . wrong survival story. I need to have enough food and toilet paper to keep me alive for the full 2 hours during which I might loose power. I think I'm good.
Most importantly I need to spend the next 2 days eating all the ice cream in my freezer just in case the freezer defrosts during that 2 hours without electricity. I need to eat all the frozen foods in my fridge and I need to drink lots of rum to keep me hydrated in case of loss of water. I am also cleaning out all the closets in the search for flash lights and candles. Once we put up the hurricane shutters the house is so dark you can't find the light switch to turn on the lights. I will need several flash lights and candles to illuminate my way to the couch to find the TV remote so I can sit and watch the endless hype that is whipping everyone into a frenzy. Not only am I forced to remain at home but I better eat all the cookies and crackers in the pantry in case they get stale while the electric is out.
Due to the inability to get gas in my car I am being forced to remain at home watching TV for the next several days until this storm passes. Oh The HORROR !!!!
You can not believer what it is like out there. EVERYONE who is out on the roads these next couple of days preceding the storm has gone NUTS ! I pity the poor folks who have to get to their jobs amidst these storm panicked idiots who are driving around, using all their gas looking for a gas station to top off their tanks. Not that anyone will be driving anywhere during the storm but they MUST have a totally full tank of gas in their car. As long as I have enough gas to get me to
Mac Donalds once the storm passes I'm good to go.
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