I have made its home from the hospital but had started this on my iPad the day I got sprung loose. I'll finish up those thoughts and then take it from there.
Well, I’m still here in the lovely Gatdens Hospital all inclusive resort in lovely down town Palm Beach Gardens. Unfortunately they do not serve alcohol at this resort but I can have all the pills I want, (except the "happy ones"), PLUS to be sure my body has enough space in it for all the pills and IV’s the resident vampires periodically drain about half my blood into little vials that I think they are using for some bizarre satanic rituals. The reason I think this is because they enjoy sticking me with needles way more than any person in their right mind should. The masked tortures bounce gleefully into my room twice a day and three times at night pushing a cart loaded with their instruments of doom. It is apparently a big secret as to what they are doing with all my blood because all they ever say is, “ We will see you later”, as if I need or care to know that. I have at least seven puncture sites on my arms from successful and attempted "sticks" and IV's and a bruise that extends from my wrist to my elbow on my left arm. The cure is apparently worse than the disease!
I have to clarify that yesterdays and today’s blogs are being written on my iPad which is much more difficult to work on considering its small “brain” capacity and the extremely poor internet service that this “resort” provides. I lost yesterday’s blog three times before I finally gave up and went to bed. For some reason the iPad gets to a point where what I have written just disappears. Most frustrating but probably good for you so you don’t have to listen to 42 pages of my latest adventure
The one good thing about this place is that the food is actually very good. Or maybe it just seems that way because it is the only thing to look forward to. Yesterday’s breakfast, lunch and TURKEY dinner were really tasty. The fish for lunch was delicious even though the rice that was served with it tasted like shredded cardboard. Dessert of some sort of lemon chiffon was so yummy it made up for the rice fail. But when Thanksgiving dinner finally arrived a day late it was all worth the wait. The turkey was so thick and moist, the mashed potatoes were fabulous and the grilled vegetables were delish.
I know you’re probably thinking it is the drugs talking, or maybe I’ve just forgotten what good food tastes like but when you consider I’m not on any “good” drugs and my diet for the past four years has been a toss between Burger King and Mac Donald’s, the food here is really wonderful AND I didn’t have to cook it !! Today they brought in a menu for the following week and it gave me a little glimmer of sunlight in this dreary situation. Cheese omelets, frittatas,(what ever they are), garlic herb pork loin and chicken Alfredo among other culinary delights. We won't even go to the desserts that I have had so far. Although they are far smaller than what I would normally eat they are super yummy. The brownie strawberry trifle that was served with lunch today was so good I really wanted the recipe.
We have all experienced that dinner out when you order the one item on the menu that sounds so delicious that your mouth is watering by the time it is served only to find that the chef should be writing science fiction novels rather than cooking because the actual food tastes nothing like what you were envisioning from the description on the menu. When the meat loaf tastes like canned dog food it just ruins your meal. So far this has not been the case in this resort where the food actually tastes better than anything I imagined .
Yet even with enjoying the food here I am ready to break out and head home. I have actually, (honestly I really did do this), checked the windows in the room to see if they would open, (more for some fresh air than escape.) Thoughts of an escape down a rope made of sheets has crossed my mind several times. Not that I would have to go to such an extreme because these poor nurses and aids are so overworked I could walk down the hall naked, ride down the elevator and cross the parking lot before anyone would notice. (And considering the absolute disaster in design the hospital gowns leave so much of your body exposed you might as well be naked. That would be preferable to getting tangled in the numerous strings that hang from these gowns yet serve no practical purpose. Added to that some genius added sleeves that snap together so the nurses can get them on and off you easily except the the snaps don't stay closed so you end up with yards of fabric flapping from your arms like wings on a a 747. The dangling sleeves then get tangled in the hanging strings which results in you choking to death. If you manage to avoid death by strangulation the best is that all the while you are fighting with strings and snaps on flapping sleeves your butt is a full moon rising phase, totally exposed for all the world to see. My boobs are hanging out the front, my ass is hanging out the back and then they attach twenty pounds of wire and a battery box in the front pocket of this thing so they can monitor your heart. Given the amount of energy I expended in trying to keep the hospital gown ON and closed in the proper places it's a wonder that who ever is monitoring these heart machines didn't think I was wrestling alligators in my room.
BUT I survived and made it home ! Keri, Steve and the kids picked me up from the hospital and drove me home. The kids walked me up the sidewalk from the car to the condo to make sure I would make it. After they left I had to sit down because that small walk totally winded me. I have a new found appreciation for what The Man experiences with his COPD. If what I am experiencing with my breathing is even one one hundredth of what he lives with on a daily basis he is one tough cookie. You know how good it feels when you are out on a crisp Autumn day and take a wonderful deep breath of fresh air? It's almost like you can taste the freshness of the air? Well I feel as if I am breathing through lungs filled with cotton balls. When I'm just sitting quietly here in my recliner I feel normal but as soon as I start doing anything more than walking across the room the cotton fills my lungs so that I am aware of breathing. Breathing is one of those things we take for granted and don't ever think about. We just do it ! Now I am conscious of inhaling air. It's crazy !!! I walked out to pick up the paper this morning and as soon as I stepped out the door I could feel wet air enter my lungs. Wet air is harder to breathe than dry air, a fact that my brain knew but I really never gave. much thought to. The Man will tell me he has to go inside because the air is "Too Heavy" but I never realized just how that feels to someone who can't breathe normally. NOW I GET IT!
So I guess all this is a lesson from the Guy Upstairs to make me more aware of what The Man down here is living with. I have a totally new found appreciation for this wonderful person I live with that will stay with me until he does something stupid.
I am eternally grateful to God that he did not give me cancer so I could experience what Husband had to deal with.
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