UP YOUR NOSE

As a kid the "go to" response to anyone who was arguing with you was, "Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose" !   Shouted at the top of your lungs and followed by an abrupt turning of your back to your opponent effectively ended any argument.  This was basically the "F U" for an eight year old back in the fifties.  There was no comeback to it, that was that !  ( I also remember the group version of this.  When you and your friends were confronted by an opposing group of kids out on the playground the ultimate put-down was to yell in unison, "Baby baby stick your head in gravy. Wash it out with sauerkraut and send it to the Navy."   It made no sense at all but it was the end all to many a playground disagreement.). 

Now we are in a different world and when someone says "Up your nose" it is the response given to the question of," How do you test for Covid?" .  And UP YOUR NOSE they go with a cotton tipped two by four seeking the elusive brain cells at the top of your nasal canal.  Holy Crap !!  Have you had the pleasure of experiencing the covid test ?   I don't recommend it !

Last night on the exactly six week anniversary of my Pneumonia trip to the hospital I decided to celebrate with a semi re enactment of Thanksgiving day.  It all started about two weeks ago when my sinuses decided to go into hyper drive and began producing record volume of what we shall call "gunk".  (The polite name for snot). For what ever reason I had the Mississippi River of gunk pouring down the back of my throat. Assuming it was 'allergies", (which run twenty four seven in Florida because there is ALWAYS something blooming), I thought nothing of it and started taking some Musinex which dried it all up for a day but as soon as I stopped taking the pills the river returned.  About three days ago I decided that I would switch to a daytime cold and flu tablet to see if that would put a stop to this nastiness. That worked for about twenty four hours before the Amazon in flood stage once again began pouring down my throat. (I think that if all this gunk had been coming out of my nose I would have gone through at least four boxes of tissues.). By now I have added to the over productive sinuses a headache, fatigue and body aches. Can you see where my brain is going with this?  Then last night, after drinking a glass of three week old Egg Nog, I began to feel nauseous and have chills and sweats.  

Let'\s stop here at look at all this from the view point of a rational person. Allergies = sinus problems,  sinus problems = headache,  headache = nausea.  My body is seventy five years old so naturally it has aches and pains and is always tired !   !!     

Now let's look at it from my point of view . . .  "I HAVE COVID AND AM GOING TO DIE !!!!!"

God Bless The Man who just rolls with it all.  As I was winding myself up into panic mode he just calmly went along with it.  I looked up where I could go for a Covid test at seven o'clock at night and found a walk in med just down the road from here.  I got dressed and The Man told me he would take me there.  I couldn't do that to the poor guy, it was after dark and he was settled down for the night.  I drove myself and kept him up to date by text message. I got to see the doctor who tested me for Covid AND the Flu and patted me on the head with some suggestions for feeling better.  The Flu test came back in ten minutes . . . NEGATIVE.  I almost was wishing it would be positive so I would have the flu which would justify my panic attack but that wasn't the case.   The Covid test will take 48 hours to get results.  

In my heart I know I am fine and just have a cold but until I get that test result you know my brain is working overtime telling me I am infected !  Thankfully I do have The Man who validates my actions and thoughts, even if he does think I'm nuts.  All I have to do is not give him what ever I DO have.