HOME

Did you ever think about what the word "home" means to you ?  There are a lot of references to "home" in our society . . . "Home Sweet Home",  "Home Home on the Range", "There's No Place Like Home", and of course, "Home is Where The Heart Is".  That last one is probably the truest.  When you are comfortable someplace it becomes home to you.

Finally, after 5 years, I am feeling that the UP of Michigan is my "second" home.  For a displaced New Yorker this is a FAR cry from anything I ever thought of as home. Growing up in New York City, going to college in up state New York and then raising a family on Long Island, New York never prepared me for this unique part of the country. Even living in crazy Florida where just about anything can and does happen, I never would have thought I'd be happy spending five months of the year in the northern reaches of Michigan. I often think that it's a good thing I had parents who took me on vacations to Maine, Vermont and the Catskill Mountains.  It helped that being a Girl Scout I always loved camping in out of the way places, cooking over a wood fire and sleeping in a tent. Traveling across our country in a pop-up camper with Husband and my 3 kids for ten years helped me to see all sorts of different regions of our country and several trips to Europe and other countries also helped me to broaden my view of where and how people live. 

Even with all that experience I was not prepared for life on a farm for months at a time. It's one thing to spend a vacation week or two in rustic places but LIVING here is a completely different thing. Coming up here to visit five years ago I did fall in love with the area. The people are awesome, warm and friendly. The scenery is beautiful in a quiet sort of way. No majestic snow covered mountains or steep sea side cliffs battered by ocean waves. Instead it is quiet, green and welcoming. (Except when it snows!)  It's a perfect place to stop and catch your breath and relax. 

BUT . . . it was not home.  

The UP of Michigan belonged to The Man. this was his childhood home and the farm was part of his families legacy. The house he grew up in is just a quarter mile away out on the highway. The Man grew up roaming these woods with his brothers and his friends. They have hunted deer in these woods, build childhood forts and spent days roaming alone discovering who knows what. The house that The Man lives in now belonged to his Uncle and Aunt before he bought it. It is a simple "farm" house that has been added on to and reshaped many times over the years. It holds many memories for The Man and his brothers. When I first visited here I was a guest.  It was all new to me and I had to learn how to live here.  There is a septic tank so don't let the water run while you brush your teeth or wash the dishes. The water comes from a well so it smells funny and feels funny when you take a shower. The house was The Man's house and it belonged to him and his wife, who's presence was still here even though she had died three years before I met The Man. The pictures on the walls, the dishes in the cabinets, the medicine in the bathroom and even the clothes in the closets all belonged to a woman I didn't know who had made this her home. It's a weird feeling stepping into someone else's life. 

For once in my life I was smart, I didn't push The Man to let me into his home. I waited on the "outside" visiting as a guest, only using the minimum of space allowed to me. Of course those first couple of years with The Man I didn't spend a lot of time here in Michigan. I would fly up here where we would spend a couple of weeks and then leave to drive to Alaska. My home was still in Florida and Michigan was still a vacation spot for me. 

Last year was the first summer that I stayed in Michigan for five full months.  That wasn't my initial plan but God had other ideas.  With the arrival of Covid we were suddenly brought to a halt when it came to travel.  That just happened to coincide with The Man's health getting just a little worse so that I was reluctant to leave him up here alone. That and the possibility that if I traveled to Florida and back I could very well carry the Covid virus back with me and infect him. And so I stayed here and was in agony the entire time.  I missed my home !  I missed my family and friends ! I was still a guest in a strange place and I didn't want to be here. All my doctors were in Florida, what if I got sick? I could die up here! 

All that changed this year.  

I came up here this year knowing that I would be here for the entire summer. I prepared myself mentally to find things to occupy my time without making The Man crazy. It is very easy to make any man crazy but this poor guy had his hands full with me.  I like to organize !  There is nothing I love more than to spend a rainy day emptying cabinets and tossing stuff out.  I've talked about this before so you know what I'm talking about.  Before this year if I even looked in a drawer I was questioned about what I was looking for and why. The house wasn't mine so I had to watch my every move. I became "The Ninja" ! Sneaking around when The Man was asleep so I could find a bar of soap in the over stuffed bathroom closet. 

All it took was some patience on my part and now I am feeling like this is also MY home. The Man's wife is still here with us, as well she should be but The Man is letting things go and he is allowing me to sort through things and move things I won't use to the basement or attic. So far I have gotten two kitchen drawers sorted and emptied out, three kitchen cabinets and a dresser in the second bedroom that has become my "dressing room". We bought a new bed last year that belongs to US, not just The Man.  I am slowly gaining headway into closets and cabinets and it is starting to feel like home to me.  I even brought my kitchen calendar that I had made on Shutterfly with different pictures of my grand kids to hang on the kitchen wall. 

It's amazing how comfortable these few changes have made me feel this year. I'm actually very happy to be here with The Man and even though I do miss my family it isn't anywhere as bad as last year.  I have my chores of feeding the deer each afternoon and walking out to the mail box out by the road. I'm tending the garden to slowly make it my own by planting plants I enjoy. I am very comfortable telling The Man I'm taking the car to go into town rather than waiting for him to suggest he drive me someplace. The pieces are falling into place and life is good. 

My heart is here and here is home.