For once I am not talking about myself . . . well I am in a round about way but the "Stay Calm" is referring to The Man. This poor guy can get himself worked up over the smallest of things. (Gee, does that sound familiar. Like I don't get frazzled when my tooth paste tube is almost empty or some other such idiotic thing.)
Now that we are back on The Man's home turf I need to slow my impulses down and find other ways to channel my energy on those rare occasions that I actually have energy. When in Michigan cleaning out closets and drawers needs to be done in Ninja mode and I need to remind myself of that. When I am on my home turf in Florida I can clean and rearrange to my hearts content. I DO love rainy days spent digging through long neglected spaces. I am like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean searching for lost gold. I really enjoy a good treasure hunt especially, if like my man Jack Sparrow, I happen to be drunk.
BUT . .. I am not in my space and I am not drunk, yet, so I have to remember to respect The Man's crap. It is not easy for me to do this. Take today for example . . . It is the PERFECT day to dig through stuff. It is way too cold for my tender bones to be outside and besides that, I left my snow shoes home. It was actually SNOWING at 9AM when I dragged my bones out from the warm, snug bed. (The only reason I got up was because if I had stayed in bed I would have been in a warm WET bed. When you've got to go, you've got to go.) I walked out into the kitchen and all I could see outside was a wall of white falling from the sky. If I didn't have to pee that bad I would have made a bee line back under the covers to wait another five weeks for spring to maybe arrive,
Once I pulled myself back from thoughts of suicide I decided to make a hot breakfast for The Man and me. This easy task was complicated by the fact that in order to cook something hot I needed a frying pan and THAT is a major task in this kitchen. Extracting a rare diamond from a mine in Africa would be less trouble than searching through a cabinet in The Man's kitchen. The particular cabinet that holds pots and pans is extra difficult to get into because it is in a corner so it is very deep, very dark and very very very full ! MY instant reaction to this type of situation is to get down on my butt, sit on the floor and proceed to pull EVERYTHING and anything OUT of the space to access exactly what we are dealing with. That would happen if The Man were not sitting 8 feet away watching my every move. He is like one of the eagles that sit by the pond waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting fish in the pond. Those EAGLE EYES are watching so I have to suck up my impulses and just grab what ever pot or pan happens to be in arms reach. There is nothing like frying an egg in a twelve gallon pot because that was the only thing I could get out of the cabinet!
I really have to tread lightly today and probably for the next several days because I have used up my allotment of "cleaning out". The first day we were back here I wanted to cook something and was in the kitchen looking for a wire whisk. As soon as I opened the "utensil" draw The Man's radar went on high alert. "What do you need?" was the question that sot across the room from The Man. When I told him I was looking for a wire whisk he said, "Oh, we have lots of those around here." The fact that I had already looked in the twenty three usual hiding spots for kitchen items and found nothing told me he was wrong but I let him go with it. After he looked for a few minutes he proceeded to tell me that "someone" must have put them "somewhere". Translation . . . "Catherine has been moving my shit again!" He honestly thinks I am throwing out his stuff when he's not looking. This would be a very valid assumption except I know just how hard it is for him to get rid of stuff so I DO NOT throw out anything.
In the process of searching for the elusive whisk The Man took several items out of one of the many "utensil" drawers. This was just the opening I needed. As he went back to his seat at the kitchen table I continued to empty the drawer to see what else was in there. This is something I have wanted to do for three years but The Man has always told me to leave it alone. He sat on his kitchen chair and gave me the eagle eye every time I removed an item. When asked what I was doing I told him I wanted to wash the drawer since it was half empty already. When everything was out of the drawer I got a large plastic container, of which there are many, and started putting all the things I didn't want into it. Of course The Man immediately said, "What are you doing with all that?" I reassured him I was going to store the full container in the pantry so it would be accessible if we needed 72 Mellon ballers any time in the near future. That was good with him and I now have a utensil draw that contains a minimum of items. One down, many more to go.
What you need to understand here is that ALL the spaces in this house are JAM PACKED FULL ! I have mentioned this before. Closets, drawers, cabinets, attic and basement. F U L L !!!!!!!! It drives me NUTS! I have decided I am more of a minimalist than a hoarder. I enjoy getting rid of stuff where The Man enjoys holding on to everything. Because I am now the one who is doing all the cooking and housework in this relationship I need things to be where I want them when I want them. I need/want to know exactly where a utensil is when I want it. Digging through 4 drawers, 6 cabinets and a closet does not work for me when all I want is a freaking spatula. Add to that The Man sitting at the kitchen table insisting that it "has to be there someplace" only makes me want to hit him with the five rolling pins that I have come across in my search for the spatula.
Bottom line . . . I did get to clean out 2 of the kitchen drawers during this past week. I am itching to spend an entire day tearing apart the remainder of the kitchen cabinets and drawers but we now have a small leak from one of the water lines going into the new washer that was delivered yesterday. That has destroyed the man's day today ! It is not anything huge, the water valve to the washer is shut off until a plumber can get here on Monday but I had to send The Man to bed to calm him down. (Sort of like time out for a two year old!). Since The Man takes a nap every afternoon, especially after spending 4 days driving from Florida to here, he was happy to take my advice and lie down. Any other time I would be tempted to get into some sort of cleaning out but I just can't do that to him today. He is on overload already and I might just send him over the top if I'm not careful.
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