My friend Theresa has a theory about The Man and his brain and I think she is "spot on" in her thinking. Her theory is that when someone has severe COPD their brain is not getting as much oxygen as it should so the person's thought process slows and their memory becomes worse and worse. This is a good theory and it is helping me to be a bit more patient with The Man. (Something you know I am not very good at.)
Starting with MY theory that all men lack brains, the fact that The Man has trouble remembering things because of COPD give me hope for all of you out there still living with the opposite sex. Sadly, for me, I think that ship has sailed and the train is leaving the station at an alarming rate of speed.
Take the Honey Badger for example. No, we do not have a honey badger residing on the farm, although it is a distinct possibility there could be one hiding amidst the "stuff" in the attic, cellar or garages. The fact that honey badgers are native to Africa, India and Asia does not mean that somewhere along the way The Man has not acquired the creature. The only reason I don't think there is one here is that The Man has no idea what a honey badger is.
Let us begin with a conversation The Man and I had at some time last winter after watching Wheel Of Fortune. (We have become "Wheel Watchers" and even have our very own Wheel Watching Number that is surely going to provide us with enough money in prizes to sustain us in our senior years. Or Not !). The Man and I make a pretty good team when it comes to solving the puzzles on the show and we usually come up with the solutions before the contestants do. Except when the puzzle is HONEY BADGER. One of the shows from this past winter had this answer to its final puzzle. We figured out that the second word was "badger" but just couldn't come up with the first word. When it was revealed that the word was "honey" The Man's reaction was, "What is a HONEY badger ????? Who ever heard of such a thing ?????? There are badgers and there are badgers but there's no such thing as a honey badger ! Did you ever hear of a honey badger ????? " (All of this was voiced in a loud and indignant voice suggesting that Pat and Vana had a staff of idiots making up the puzzles for the show.). My response was that I HAD heard of honey badgers somewhere along the way of living all these years to which I was told in the most annoyed voice that there was no such thing. I let it all go because it just wasn't something I wanted to get into because I knew there would be no changing his mind and it just wasn't that important. Little did I realize what was in store for me.
Fast forward to TV Summer re-runs . . . Guess what we were watching last night after dinner ? Yup, at 7:30 last night there we sat at the hated kitchen table watching "The Wheel". I have realized over the past 2 months that all these shows are re-runs. The puzzles are too easy to solve because I had seen them all when they first aired last winter. (And if there was any question in anyones mind that they were re-runs the fact that two weeks ago the show's theme was Christmas should have been a dead give-away. I do believe that small detail totally went undetected by The Man.)
Anyway . . . the final puzzle came up and we got the first word as "BADGER" but he couldn't get the second word. Once the answer was revealed as being Honey Badger would you like to guess what The Man said ? If you guessed, "What is a HONEY badger ??????? Who ever heard of such a thing ????? There are badgers and there are badgers but there's no such thing as a honey badger!" I swear to you, the Man used the EXACT same words as he did the last time we saw this puzzle on this show.
You know I couldn't let it go a second time. It was just too much for my small brain to handle. I attempted to explain that like other animals there are different types of the same animal. There was no glimmer of understanding on that explanation. So I went on to say that there are red squirrels and grey squirrels and flying squirrels but they are all still squirrels. The Man's response was, "I thought we were talking about badgers?" It was at this point that I gave up the battle with hopes of winning the war at a later date with the possible use of visual aids.
A couple of hours later, while The Man was in the shower, I got out my computer and looked up Honey Badger. (At this point I was actually doubting myself and thinking perhaps I was mistaken, Heaven forbid! , and there really was no such thing as a honey badger. But Low and Behold there they were,) Thanks to Google and the wide world of the web, there was a whole bunch of information and pictures of HONEY BADGERS !!! There was even one article that listed the differences between a regular badger and a honey badger.
When the man returned to the bedroom where I was sitting I told him I had a bunch fo things for him to see on the computer. One was dealing with something we had seen on the news earlier that day, another was about a new series on Hulu that we might enjoy and last but not least there was the one about the honey badger. (I had even found a funny video about a honey badger named Stoffel who lives in captivity and is a master escape artist. You can see it on Youtube. Apparently honey badgers are extremely intelligent. I guess they don't get COPD. ). The Man humored me and watched the video and read the information I had found. Then in a dead serious voice he said, . . . "Well that's the FIRST time I ever heard of them!"
And you wonder why I drink !
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