Ahhhhhhhh . . . Simon and Garfunkel . . . all those years ago wrote the most wonderful song titled, "The Sound of Silence". I like the song even if I don't understand it. It's like those poems you had to read in high school and college where you had to grasp the "hidden meaning" behind the actual words. I personally thought that a person writes what he thinks like I do. The whole idea of hidden messages and meanings is totally alien to me. I'm a "What you see is what you get" sort of gal.
Today, for what ever reason, the song, "The Sound of Silence" was stuck in my brain. I had not heard it on the car radio because the radio in The Man's car is incapable for playing anything but country music. So I have no idea where it came from into my head but there it was for the entire day. With this song playing over and over in my head I got to thinking about what actually IS the sound that silence makes. I mean, if it's silence there should be no sound, right?
But I decided that is not the case at all. I think that each of us has their very own sound of silence. If you are told to sit quietly and focus on the silence I bet your brain would start thinking about a zillion things. But if you try harder your silence will slowly work its way through the babble of your thoughts. Sometimes silence comes in the form of gently breaking waves on a beach, the quiet lack of sound when snow is falling, wind wafting through trees, the pitter patter of rain falling, the squeak of a rocking chair moving back and forth. All these things help us to be silent and to go to our quiet place.
Unfortunately MY sound of silence is something like this . . . "Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhghhhhghhhghhh".
Over the years I have become very good at being silent. I think it comes from living with a man. All those times when The Man, (this could be any man), says something so totally off the wall STUPID that you can not believe what you just heard, has taught me to just clam up and say NOTHING !! It isn't worth the time or effort of questioning what you thought he said. If you do question it you will only loose your mind trying to follow the explanation. It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier to either pretend you didn't hear anything or that you "agree" with what ever was said.
Perfect example was today when The Man asked me to look up something on the computer. The Man does not use a computer so anytime he wants to get something from the internet he depends on me to search and find. He wanted to access his medical records from our most recent visit to the VA in Milwaukee. No Problem . . . we have him registered in the system so it is only a matter of going in and finding the particular report that he wanted. I have all the passwords and we have gone on to this site many times before. Each time I navigate this particular government site I have learned shortcuts to make the whole experience less frustrating.
Unless The Man is standing in back of me looking over my shoulder telling me how and what to do. (This is The Man who has NEVER gone on to this site by himself but he knows how to navigate it better than I do.)
WE got logged in and then WE went to the page that asks for what you want to do. "Access records" is where we needed to go but The Man wasn't sure . . . (Here is where I go into "silent" mode and just wait while I have the cursor sitting on "access records". ) Finally The Man see that and tells me to go to "access records". Instantly the page pops up with an endless list of what TYPE of records you can access. All one has to do is scroll down the list, find the ONE thing that we want to get and click on that. BUT NO . . . The Man has me scrolling endlessly down through the entire list and then says, "Click on the box that says EVERYTHING !" (By doing this I am now going to get Three Hundred and Fifty Seven pages to look through to find the ONE thing that he wants to see. ( I remain silent) . . . As all three hundred and fifty seven pages load into my computer he then says, "OK, now find me the page that gives us the report of yesterdays visit."
Like I am going to sit there and read THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN pages to find what he wants !!!!!!!
Because he now had showed me how to get what we needed he went to sit down in his chair across the table. It was at this point that I deleted the entire mess and started over again doing it MY way of clicking on exactly what we were looking for. Sure enough up popped the report from the last visit and within seconds I had it printed out and in his hand.
I remained silent ! But inside my head I was screaming ^*$&&%#%^#!@%^#@^**$@&$#^ !!!!!
And that is how I came to realize what MY sound of silence sounds like.
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