THINK FASTER ! ! ! ! !

 I just can't help myself . . . Born and raised in NYC makes me a Type A person.  Hurry up and get it done.  think on your feet, make a decision and act on it before the bus leaves the station.  NYC is NOT a place you go to relax and when you are growing up there you just naturally talk faster and move quicker. 

I did leave the city when I was 16 to go to college up state NY.  MUCH slower pace up there. Then I moved to Long Island, NY which was a faster pace than Oneonta, NY but not quite as crazed as "The City".  Retiring to Florida 20 years ago did slow me down a bit but each year there are more and more New "Yackers" moving to the shushing state so I tend to drive like a maniac, talk faster and resort back to the old NY habits even though I do make a conscious effort to suppress them. 

Living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is like going from warp three thousand to "turtle two". No one up here moves faster than a constipated snail. And that is only when they are in a hurry.  Most of the time you can't be sure if the person you're speaking to is still alive or not. And forget waiting for an answer to a question.  You might as well pull up a chair and take a nap when you ask where to find something in the grocery store.  (I must admit that although everyone moves slower when you ask where something is in the store they ALWAYS walk you, slowly, to the exact spot where you can find what you're looking for.) 

The Man is born and raised in the UP.  The years he spent in the Army took him to small, out of the way places where he was most comfortable.  I'm sure there were times when he was flying medi-vac helicopters in Texas that he had to think and act quickly but those days are gone for good and The Man has oozed down into "old age" and a fairly sedentary life. When ever we have an appointment to be somewhere The Man gets up two hours earlier to "get ready".  That's OK ! I get that he takes time to wake up and eat breakfast and do his multitude of breathing treatments before he can leave the house.  I get all that but having a slow body does not mean you necessarily have a slow brain. Sadly, The Man's brain is slowing down faster than ice melting in a Strawberry Daiquiri on a Florida beach in July. I realize the COPD has a lot to do with the slow process time but I do think it is also from living up here. 

Take for example when I lived in NY and was raising my 3 kids.  Sharon would call me in the morning after we got our kids on the bus and within minutes we could be setting up a lobster party for the next day. Snow days were always a call for an instantaneous party. You bring the beer, I've got the popcorn and soda for the kids.  There were no three months of planning any of our gatherings. As quickly as we had an idea we acted on it . . .  for better or for worse.  

The UP version of "Lets get together" involves checking calendars, sending mass e-mails and a thousand texts and even then it probably won't happen. If I should happen to suggest at 10:00 in the morning that we call his brothers and invite them over for a BBQ at 4:00 the same day The Man turns pale as a ghost, breaks out in a sweat and immediately says, "NO!"  I realize that is quick thinking but in actuality it is just like Pavlov's Dogs . . . I ask, he says "NO!", there is no thinking involved.  I will then ask that he think about it but at that point he is making a list of reasons why we can't do it.  I have learned to deal with this and now will plant those seeds of ideas weeks before so The Man can "think" about it.

What I can NOT get used to is agonizingly slow pace at which his thoughts ooze out of his brain and mouth.  I'm up and moving in the morning.  I may sleep till 10 or 11:00 but once my feet hit the floor I am in motion and am not going to stop until I need to.  I will come out of the bedroom, making a bee line for the bathroom and The Man will say something. It could be about something that is on the TV, or something that he has read on the internet or, more likely, it is some random thought that has popped into his head. Usually it is something totally ridiculous like, "We need to get the tires checked before we head to Florida". (It is August, we will not leave here before October . . . why must you stop me from peeing to tell me this NOW?????????). I will agree and make a break for the potty. When I come out The Man is still thinking about the tires so he will pick up the conversation with thoughts on the type of tires he has on the car, where he bought them and how long it's been since they have been rotated". I am now slowly inching my way toward the bedroom to get dressed so I can get doing what ever I have set in my mind for the day.  I just keep nodding my head and saying, "Hmmm, right. sounds good" as I continue to move away and still he goes on.  By now my brain is SCREAMING,  "THIS ISN'T IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW", but my head is still nodding and my mouth is still making agreeable noises.  (I am also aware of the fact that he at least allowed me to empty my bladder before continuing this conversation.) 

Of course the other thing that is running through my head is, "This will make a great blog". 

A quick side note . . . today is Thursday so we made our 45 minute drive to Manistique for The Man to do his hour of pulmonary rehab. When we were driving back home today he was proudly telling me that he walked on the treadmill for FIFTEEN MINUTES today.  That is an awesome accomplishment !!!!  BUT, my question then is, "Why can't he walk from the kitchen chair to the refrigerator to get his own bottle of water when we sit down to eat?"