MAN THE BATTLE STATIONS

The war of the bats is back on. At least in Husbands world the battle is raging, I say live and let live.
D you realize that if women ran the world there would be no wars?  Just tea parties on Tuesday and tennis on Friday. We don't PANIC ! Men are always at Battle station Red! They get all excited and hysterical before they think about what the heck is going on.  My friend told me a great story about her husband when they slept over at a friends house. Her husband chose to sleep in the twin bed under the window in the guest room. She was awakened at four in the morning by her husband slamming around the room muttering that he can't sleep with the light from the street lamp shining in his face.  She calmly got up, walked over to the window and reversed the directions of the blinds, thus shutting out the light. Her husband had been awake for 5 hours getting angrier and angrier about the bothersome light but never sought a solution to the problem.
Back to the bats . . . H has been worrying about the bats in the eves of the house for several weeks now ever since our son discovered one lonely, little fellow hanging between the drain pipe and the roof.  The bat was NOT inside the house!  There was only ONE bat, and yet husband was on full alert ready for a war.  BUT DOING NOTHING!  I finally spoke to the exterminator who put us in contact with the "Wildlife Relocation" folks.  Ger set up an appointment because he was now in the position of "put up or shut up". And then the panic set in!  For a week I heard nothing but, "This could cost us a thousand dollars". He had himself so worked up that the one lone bat was a point bat for the five thousand invading hordes of killer bats that were surely living in our attic. By the time Mr. Bat Man, (aka. Mike) arrived on Friday I was ready to hit H with a BAT!
Guess what?. . .  We don't have bats !  Maybe one or two living under a roof tile but no hordes of them, no invasion, no even a gathering.  It cost us $75 for the visit, spent an hour and a half talking with Mike about bats and other Florida wildlife and we may even get a bat house put out on our property out by the lake to give the little guys a place to hang, rather than under my roof.
Ger has now returned to "calm" or as close to calm as he ever gets. I'm sure there will be another crisis within the next couple of days. The newspaper will get delivered in a puddle, the mail will arrive to late and garbage man will arrive too early.  Life is such a burden when your a man. Thank goodness they do not have to cook, clean, shop, schedule and pay the bills!  Not when they exhaust themselves chasing windmills!