I don't write for weeks and then we get a day like today where I could spend the entire time writing. It is therapy and if my hands are busy typing they can't strangle THE MAN !
I discovered this afternoon that The Man is part bloodhound and part retriever and part greyhound. I had always thought that it was only dogs that liked to chase cars but today I found out that this is not true. Much to my dismay and much to my disbelief I have just spent the last hour in The Man's car while he chased several Fed Ex trucks.
It all started this afternoon when I happily returned from PT and a lovely quick trip to my favorite store, Bealls Outlet. (Pronounced "BELLS") I had bought The Man a shirt last week but it was the wrong size so today after PT I stopped back at Bealls to return the shirt. I was in my "Happy Place" by the time I got home so when I found The Man on the phone I just went on with my business of getting into my comfy clothes and getting something to eat for a late lunch out on the lanai. I wasn't out there very long before you know who came out to tell me all about his phone conversation with his bank, the forms he had to fill out and return to a Fed Ex drop box IMMEDIATELY ! This conversation would make you think there was a crisis with The Man's bank accounts but let me assure you that is not the case. For the past THREE months The Man has been talking about moving some money around that had been set aside for his grand daughter's college tuition. Since Grand daughter decided back in November that she was not going to college this year the money has been sitting quietly. For what ever reason this past Friday was the day that The Man HAD to call the bank, arrange for forms to be sent by Fed Ex so he could fill them out today and return them immediately. NONE of this has anything to do with April 15th tax day or any other time limitation. It is just The Man who made it all a CODE RED for today. He had some poor slob from the bank on the phone when I came home helping him fill out the forms properly so there wouldn't be any mess up because we are leaving Florida in 3 weeks and HEAVEN forbid things got lost in the mail. (Had all this been done months ago there would be no chance that mail wouldn't reach us before we left town but that is too easy.)
Once the forms were filled out we then HAD to go immediately and find a Fed Ex drop box to mail the papers. I know where one of these boxes are but The Man wanted one closer, (closer than one mile). I checked on my phone and sure enough there was a drop box 3/4 of a mile away so off we went.
This is where it starts to get just down right silly !!!!!!!
We followed the directions on my phone only to find ourselves in a commercial park with no drop box in sight. As we were turning into the complex The Man saw a Fed Ex truck leaving the parking lot so naturally he decided to chase the truck with all intentions of flagging it down and giving his package to the driver. MY reaction to this insane turn of events was to ask if The Man had lost his freaking mind. NO, I did not say that exactly, what I did say was, "Really??????? You're going to chase the truck? It could be going anywhere!" . But follow the truck we did. Only problem was that by the time we got turned around the truck was no where to be seen so we spent the next fifteen minutes driving in and out of parking lots looking for the truck. I finally convinced The Man to go back to the original parking lot to see if we could find the elusive drop box. We did exactly that but never found the damn box.
It was at this point that I suggested we drive the extra quarter mile to the drop box that I knew about so once again we headed out down the road. As we reached the corner what should be standing three cars ahead of us waiting for the light to change ????? . . . Did you guess a FED EX TRUCK ??? YUP !! And did you guess exactly what The Man decided to do ???????? . . . CHASE THE TRUCK ???? YUP !!!!
By this point I was beyond any form of rational thinking. I could NOT believe this man was chasing trucks like a junk yard dog. At the next light the truck turned and so did the light so there we sat watching the Fed Ex truck drive off into the sunset. My brain was screaming, "YOU %#*&!%&^% IDIOT" but my mouth said, "Dwayne, we have to pick up our dinner at the restaurant. It was ready twenty minutes ago. Let's just go put this envelope in the drop box that I told you about. (AN HOUR AGO !!!!!)
That is what we did. Took all of two minutes, picked up dinner, drove home and I was too worked up to even look at food.
The wine is delicious !
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