TOXIC FUMES

Just when you think it can't get any worse there is ALWAYS just one more thing that slaps you up side your head to remind you that,  YES,  there is always something else that can go wrong and assuredly will do just that.

I consider myself an optimist . . . little miss Pollyanna always looking for the bright side and giving wonderful spiritual uplifting advice.  "F" THAT. !!!!  Over this past month I have exceeded my lifetime allotment of cursing, swearing and calling on God to "MAKE IT STOP!"  God is shaking His head and telling me to learn from all the shit that is pouring down each and every day.  I'm trying to do something good here but it is getting pretty ridiculous.

Today's reminder that I am just a speck of dust in the whole scheme of things and should not get pissy when things go "wrong" was when I filled my house with toxic fumes so bad that The Man and I are now living on the lanai for the next 3 weeks. Thankfully Pollyanna can say that is not a bad thing to have to be homeless right now since the sun is shining, the weather is warm and beautiful but I really have to pee and the house is still filled with smoke. (The neighbors might frown on me peeing in the garden.)

It all started yesterday when I realized once again that I had over done my food intake and now was paying the price of an inflamed colon.  I can go months without a flare up but once I get too sure of myself and start eating all those things that I shouldn't then it is months of payback until I can get my intestines to settle back down.  I think the macadamia nut incident may have been the breaking point. 

It's Christmas and people send all sorts of "goodies" in the mail to help you celebrate the holidays.  One too many nut filled candy bars or one too many sugar cookies and my innards are flared up and I am in pain. I had been eating excessive amounts of nuts and stuff before the macadamia nuts so when I cleaned out my system after the allergic reaction to the nasty little nuts I thought I had dodged a bullet.  NOT !!

Yesterday my innards let me know they were not happy with how I had been treating them and they sent out some warning signs to quit eating EVERYTHING until things settled back down.  Heaven forbid I not eat for 24 hours . . . I might wither away to nothing.  (If only).  But I did keep my food intake down to a piece of toast and some special tea that is supposed to help calm things down in the nether regions of my intestines.  Only problem is that the tea is a collection of seeds and leaves that need to be steeped in boiling water. OK, no problem . . .  I decided to fill a small pan with water, add the leaves and bring it all to a boil. Voila !!  Real tea with honey that really did make my tummy feel better.  I left the pan on the stove so that I could make another batch of tea this morning. I turned off the burner and went to bed.

Fast forward to this morning when I was feeling slightly better physically. (Mentally I am a hot mess) I got up knowing I would not eat anything for the day so I escaped to the guest bedroom to stay away from temptations in the kitchen.  I got working on cleaning out my computer desk which led to cleaning off all the book shelves and sorting through boxes of pens, paper and the like.  By 1:00 I still hadn't taken my morning meds so I decided to heat up another batch of tea.  Being a total and complete DUMB ASS I filled the pot with water and tea leaves, turned on the burner and went back into the guest bedroom to finish putting stuff away.  I swear I was only in there a few minutes when I went back into the kitchen which was FILLED FILLED FILLED with smoke. TOXIC SMOKE !!

Dumb Ass me had turned on the wrong burner. Sitting ON that "wrong" burner were my 4 plastic Christmas drink glasses.   Note to self, "Heat and Plastic DO NOT mix!"  The glasses were melting all over the burner while producing the most noxious smell imaginable.  The smoke from this disaster filled the entire condo so badly that I could see it in every room.  Luckily The Man had been avoiding me and my nasty disposition by sitting out on the lanai so he wasn't breathing in this God awful smoke.  I quickly ran through the house opening all the doors and windows and turning all the ceiling fans along with the exhaust fans in both bathrooms and the kitchen. We had to move out to the far side of the lanai away form the smoke wafting out the doors and The Man had to hook up to his tank of oxygen because the concentrator in the living room was sucking in the toxic fumes before sending them on to The Man.

At the moment The Man is asleep in one of the reclining chairs on the lanai, the house is still airing out and I am sitting here thinking of ways to kill myself before this idiocy gets any worse.  Because you know it WILL get worse and worse and worse until I figure out just what the hell it is that God is trying to tell me.