A PRESSING SUBJECT

 As I have mentioned in the last three hundred blogs . . .    It's COLD up here.  But that's OK because we are out of here in three days and if I am to be completely honest  . . . I am going to miss this place.

I just came back from my daily walk out to the road and, as has been the case these past few weeks, I almost froze my butt off.  (How I can be cold when dressed like Nanook of the North is beyond me but cold is what I am.). Todays walk was the only exercise I have gotten all day and I am ashamed to say I did not make the circle down the road, up the other driveway and around the back past the barn.  It was just too cold to be out there any longer than necessary. (The reality is that it is about fifty-two degrees but the wind is blowing from the north so it feels so much colder.).  I took a couple of small bags of garbage out to the trash bin at the end of the driveway and that was it !  I did take a few moments to put out some corn for the critters but I did not bother digging out sugar beats or cabbage for them. They will just have to make due with last nights left overs that are strewn across the yard.  (Right now the back lawn between the house and the barn looks like a vegetable truck collided with a pumpkin patch. Cabbage and pumpkin pieces are scattered all over the place.)  When I first went left the house I startled "Little Guy", our orphan fawn, who was munching on some of the pumpkin bits.  When he saw me he ran around the barn and into the woods but I'm sure he will return within the hour.  

My walk down the driveway is always entertaining because the scenery changes by the day.  We just had a big rain storm blow through so I had puddles and fallen twigs to step over and around.  Audrey and her twelve thousand relatives died off about a month ago so it isn't as scary a walk but the smells are those of a chilly autumn day.  Wet leaves, fresh air, pine trees and rain all add to the feel of winter approaching. But the most obvious sign that it is late autumn is the carpet of leaves covering the yard and driveway.   My favorite big Maple tree is almost naked but the ground under the tree is ankle deep in colorful leaves. These leaves are blowing my mind this year . . . the colors range from bright red and rust to orange and yellow and are mixed in the most interesting patterns on each individual leaf.  I am having trouble going outside without getting side tracked picking up some of these beautiful leaves. With every leaf that I pick up I see ten more that are even more colorful. 

And what does one do with a truckload of colorful autumn leaves ?  Why you "press" them of course ! Where that activity ever originated is beyond me but I have a shit load of flattened out dry leaves sitting on top of my suitcase.  The question now is do I take them with me to Florida ? Why would I do that ?  What can I do with them ? If I took the time to press them how can I possibly just throw them away ? 

My original thought when I picked up the first leaf was to bring it home to the grand kids in Florida who haven't seen Autumn leaves in years. In fact, now that I think about it the four youngest grand kids may NEVER have seen Autumn leaves.  They were either born in Florida or moved there when they were very young. So I guess with that thought in mind I just HAVE to bring the leaves home with me.  Maybe I'll get some wax paper and seal them between sheets of wax paper with a warm iron.  (I used to do this with my kindergarten classes but it's been years since then.). I would imagine that my grand kids not only have never seen Autumn leaves but they also have never seen wax paper.  

And so with the decision made to bring dried leaves home with me I am now faced with the next question. 

HOW do I transport a bunch of dry leaves without ending up with a bag full of "crumbs" ?  

I'll keep you posted on that . . .  

LET IT GO !!!

 Some people, who shall remain nameless, just can't let go of "power".  A parent doesn't always get it right when raising a child but once that child is grown you have GOT to let them be adults without you monitoring their every move.  

Some people just can't do this . . .  they feel that because they are the parent, no matter how old that child is, the parent should still tell their child what to do and when.  

When I was in college studying to be an elementary school teacher one of the very few things that I got out of four years of elementary education classes was . . .  ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS stress the positive !  If you have a child who can't read you find what they can do well and focus on building them up with praise about their accomplishments rather than beating them down over what they can NOT do. It's basic stuff and it works like a charm !  (I did try to remember this when I was raising my own children but I may have failed miserably when they were young so I try to make up for it now.) 

On the flip side of this you have people who have spent their lives in the military and are used to giving orders . . .  no discussion, just demands and orders.  I pity the children of people like this.  

To get a bit more specific, The Man has two children. The first born is a boy and basically is "The Golden Child".  The son has managed to grow into a very nice and capable man who is doing an excellent job of raising his two girls.  He is successful, owns a home but has been "divorced" twice. (The second relationship was long standing but not an official marriage.) In the eyes of The Man his son can do no wrong and The Man says nothing when he disagrees with the son's actions.  (ie.  the second woman who is now gone.  We all knew she was a looser but the boy kept her around for five or more years until he figured out he did not want her in his life. )

The Man has a second child, a daughter, who can do NOTHING right.  She apparently was a beautiful child but got involved in drugs and has spent quite a bit of time in jail.  She has little or nothing to do with her brother, has two daughters of her own by two different fathers and has a very rocky relationship with her dad.  He doesn't trust her at all and is always looking at the negative aspect of her, not encouraging her to do better. I think she is trying to get her act together, The Man has no faith that this will ever happen.

Being here with The Man I see both sides of this relationship and my heart breaks for both father and daughter. BUT . . .   I am keeping my mouth shut and keeping my thoughts to myself . . .  except to share with you.  I do keep trying to get The Man to let go of the material "stuff" that he seems to care so much about.  I remind him every so often that furniture, Christmas ornaments, pots and pans are just things that are not important to anyone but he insists that they must be "treasured" by his family. If only he could let go of this idea he would be so much more at peace. 

His daughter was here today to pick up some of her things that she had stored here while she was "away". The Man hung out the window watching her like a hawk as she loaded things from the garage into her truck.  You would think that at this point of his life he would be glad to get rid of as much as possible but he is so concerned that she will take something that she shouldn't.  As I have mentioned before the garage is stuffed with CRAP . . .  pots, pans, dishes, and such. I feel if The Girl wants to take some of the shit let her go for it.  The Man feels that she will just leave it someplace when she moves and it will be lost forever.  We are NOT talking about family heirlooms or antiques . . . we are talking about yard sale junk that needs to go.  

I have a cousin who thinks that EVERYTHING she owns is worth millions and I have been told over and over again that when she dies I need to make sure everything is sold for its maximum value.  My thinking is she is going to be gone so who the hell cares where it goes. MY feeling is that you donate stuff to St. Vincent de Paul and they will sell it to someone who WANTS it and the charity will make money to help someone else in need.  Isn't that a good thing?  But the mentality of the "can't let it go" crowd is that this stuff is worth something and must be kept forever. 

What's that old saying about "The one with the most toys when they die" . . . I figure I'm going to be DEAD so what the hell will I care about where my crap goes.  

GET OVER IT PEOPLE . . .  IT'S ONLY STUFF !!!!!  

I have always wanted to "fix" the world and help everyone solve their problems but I have managed to learn to shut up and just pray a LOT for the people I care about.  It's taken me a long time and I do hope I'm getting better at it each day.  As for The Man and his daughter . . .  I have no idea where they will end up but it sure is sad to watch.

CRANK UP THE HEAT !!!!!!

 How long have I been complaining about The Man wanting it to be too hot in the house ????  . . .            A  LONG time . . .  and now it is coming back to bite me in the butt. 

It is fifty five degrees out side today and it might as well be fifty five degrees BELOW ZERO for the way I am freezing.  When I got up this morning I went out and sat in the Parlor in the maroon recliner which was bathed in warm sunshine just inside the sliding glass door.  It was lovely!  The sun was so bright I had to turn the chair around so the sun was on my back and not shining right into my eyes.  It was so warm I felt like the Cheshire Cat sitting in the sun on the window sill.  But this is Michigan and at this time of the year nothing that warm lasts for more than an hour. Sure enough within a couple of hours the sun had disappeared behind a solid sky of clouds and the temperature never got more than two degrees higher than it was at 8:30 AM when I got up. The Cheshire Cat went from purring to growling and I haven't been able to warm up again for the rest of the day. 

My daily walk out to the mail box this afternoon was done in record time thanks to the fact that I thought I was going to freeze to death. The Man wanted to know if I had driven the car out to the mail box because I was back so quickly.  Amazing how a little cold air can motivate me to move very quickly !

How is it possible for me, the woman who is always too warm, to be SO cold ?  It is most definitely time to make that drive south to Florida so I can complain about how hot it is. 

I realize that the folks living in Canada and Alaska are probably out in shorts and tee shirts on a day like this.  Fifty-five is down right balmy to them but to this Florida gal it is the middle of winter at the North Pole.  Even with a hat, gloves, wool socks, sweat shirt AND winter coat I was still frozen just walking out to get the mail.  How do these people live here ALL winter long ? This is only the prelude to things to come. If I were living up here full time I would have the gun out and loaded because there is no way I could survive this frozen wilderness for the next five freezing months.  

But the end is in sight and the suitcases are out and the car is slowly filling up in anticipation of escaping here.  WE were were planning on leaving here in six days but then last night The Man was watching the news and saw that the weather man was saying the dreaded word . . .S N O W . . .   Yup, there is a good chance that it is going to snow on Friday so our departure date has been moved up by a day to try to escape the white stuff. You won't find me arguing that decision.  If it wasn't for the fact that we have to wait for oxygen tanks to be delivered for our trip we would be out of here tomorrow.  

Well, actually that's not true because The Man is totally unable to pull himself together in less than five days.  Have we not known for the past five months that we would be leaving here come October?  Has MY suitcase never been put away or fully unpacked just in case I had an opportunity to get out of here sooner?  Do I need to take a week to pull together a couple of changes of clothes for the trip south ? For a man who spent his entire life in the military I would think he could be ready to go at a moments notice but I guess the reduction in oxygen has slowed hm down to the speed of a turtle on Prozac. 

I am doing all I can to remain calm, WARM and collected. (You can keep the cool part.) I was awake the other night at 3:30 AM in full blown panic mode. The thoughts of getting sick and not making it back to my family in Florida had me cleaning closets and drawers and packing my suitcase in the wee hours of the morning.  I finally calmed myself down after a long chat with God and managed to get another couple of hours sleep before starting another day while continuing the count down to getting out of here.   

With any luck I won't freeze to death in the next couple of days and soon my blogs will be written from the sunny state of Florida.  Something for all of us to look forward to. 

BURGER AND MISS KITTY

MISS KITTY came for a visit today and she and I ended up sitting on the back steps for about a half hour. At first she was content rubbing up and down on my hand but when she saw I was in for the long haul she climbed up into my lap and fell sound asleep snuggled up in my arms.  

It's COLD today, by Florida standards, and my back, wrist, shoulder and other arthritic joints are all SCREAMING for me to get back to the hot sunshine of home. Only one more week and we will be in the car and half way "home" and it can't come soon enough. But along with leaving the cold and basking in the hot Florida sun comes the bittersweet parting of all my friends here in Michigan.  I won't  miss the family because they will all visit at some point over the winter months. (They would have to be crazy NOT TO! ) But I will miss all my "critters".  

Miss Kitty has been visiting us for four years from the time she was a small kitten.  We never knew where she came from but she surely came from someone who loved her because she is very friendly and LOVES being petted.  When she first appeared The Man would feed her bread and bologna so she knew this was a good place to visit.  The Man got so used to her being around he started buying cat food for her and it was a nightly ritual for her to show up for dinner.  She was NEVER allowed in to the house and when we left town in November she was on her own.  Each Spring when we returned to MI she would magically show up and our friendship would resume.  (One of the neighbors took her in that first winter and then had her "fixed" so there were no more surprise batches of kittens.)  Miss Kitty remains tiny and she still loves to come over for a good "scritch".   Today after her nap in my lap she and I took a long walk out to the road and around the property checking out everything. She follows me like a puppy and "talks" to me the whole time.  It is so comical that one of the neighbors stopped to comment on me and my cat walking down the road.  

Besides Miss Kitty we will be saying good-bye to "Burger and The Boys" and "Little Fawn".  These are just part of the nightly crowd that shows up for dinner out by the barn. Little Fawn appeared about three weeks ago out of no where. He is quite small compared to the other fawns born this season and his mother is no where to be seen which is pretty unusual.  We think that he was born late in the season and his mother must have died soon after, leaving him on his own.  He, like Miss Kitty, discovered that this is a safe place to come to eat so he shows up all hours of the day looking for corn and sugar beats.  He is adorable and all the neighbors are looking  out for him.  

The rest of the crowd all show up in the early evening filling their bellies and fighting over who is the boss.  One of the gang of young bucks that visits each night has a really weird set of horns.  On one side of his head he has a full set of horns with five "points" on them.  (Apparently the more points a deer has the more the hunters want to kill him. )

BRACE YOURSELF

NO I am not going to reveal the secret of the universe or the location of the Holy Grail.  I'm just going to do what I usually do . . . .  Babble nonsense  !!!

Because WE are on the count down to leaving this frozen forest farm I started looking through all the crap I have accumulated up here. ( And I dare to write about The Man and all his crap ?).  Over the past 4 years I have managed to settle in quite comfortably to the country living scene, thanks to Amazon and their two day delivery. (That is 2 days for normal people, it usually takes a week to get stuff up here but that only helps to slow me down when I'm in a shopping mood.  Boy do I miss Beals outlet and Ross. ) My theory is to have an entire wardrobe here so I don't have to pack a suitcase when I travel back and forth.  The hole in that theory is that I now drive back and forth with The Man rather than flying so it really doesn't matter what I am carrying with me.  But I still think it is a good plan to have a whole set of clothes here. Unfortunately because of where we are on the map summer weather only exists for about two weeks so I need to have a wardrobe ranging from arctic snow shoes to Bahamas swim wear and everything in between.  My tiny closet in the bedroom is filled with winter coats, sweat shirts, jeans and sleeveless tops.  It is a very eclectic mix. I have winter boots and two pairs of sandals sitting on the floor next to my sneakers and wool socks. 

I also have a dresser where I can keep my shorts and sweat pants, tank tops and long sleeve tee shirts.  But my favorite drawer of all is the top drawer.  In this space I keep my miscellaneous items.  It's sort of the junk drawer of the bedroom. In this drawer I stash my extra pair of sun glasses, my bathing suit and my various assorted braces.  Yup, I have a collection of body braces the likes of which CVS has never seen. 

It seems that as I am aging my body is unable to hold itself together without some outside help. ( I think that at this rate I will need scaffolding in about two years. But for now I just have a collection of body braces. ) 

I have always had a back brace for those occasions when I do something stupid and need to support those lazy weak back muscles. But this is getting ridiculous !    

I opened the "Bedroom Junk Drawer, (BJD),  today to take inventory of what I need to pack and what I will leave behind.  Here's what I found . . . THREE (3) wrist braces, a back brace, a knee brace, a foot brace and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.  No . . .   Just kidding about the knee brace, I mean, the Partridge.  No birds in the BJD but I did find a candy bar that I had stuffed in there a month or so ago.  (The candy bar is to brace my soul when I am yearning to leave here to return to my family.) Amazing what I have managed to accumulate over a period of five months.  

All these things were purchased up here and they will all remain up here when we make the move back to Florida. Hopefully my body will hold together for the four day drive until I can get to warm weather and my chiropractor. That coupled with a long over due massage should take care of my need for braces of all kinds.  Which is a very good thing because I plan on having my shoulder replaced ASAP after my return south.  The shoulder has been aching for months and is long overdue for replacement. It continues to get worse because so far I have not found a shoulder brace to help support that particular body part.  

FANNY FATIGUE

 I just want to sit in a comfortable chair ! Is that so much to ask ?? I mean, even the Queen of England has a throne to sit on. Right about now I would sell my first born for a comfortable chair.

I am still puzzled by people who can sit ALL DAY on a hard kitchen chair.  I just don't get it.  I realize the kitchen is the central room in many peoples homes but if this is the case in your house would you PLEASE do your guests a favor and go out and invest in comfortable chairs to sit on !!

My homes NEVER used the kitchen as the "Go To" place to gather and chat.  I grew up in a tiny little house in NYC that had a VERY tiny kitchen.  It was large enough for a small table with two chairs. My dad and I would sit at the table for breakfast while my mom puttered around us. For dinner we ate in the small dining room that was just large enough for a table with four chairs around it.  Good thing I was an only child because the fourth chair was occupied by my old German grandfather.  There just wasn't enough room for more than that. If someone came to our home for a visit we sat in the living room. There was a couch and two very comfortable chairs in that room so it invited guests to sit in comfort while they were visiting. My kids grew up in a home with a larger kitchen than I had as a kid but the kitchen was used for breakfast, lunch and homework. I still remember the "L" shaped booth that wrapped around the kitchen table.  It was bright yellow and super comfy to sit on.  When people came to visit we sat in the "den" or at the dining room table on large padded chairs. We did NOT visit in the kitchen.  Same went for my Florida homes.  The kitchens in these two homes is open so I can be working in the kitchen and still visiting with guests who are seated on sofas and chairs.  

It is TORTURE for me here in Michigan sitting around a tiny, cold metal table on hard metal chairs.  There is NOTHING warm and inviting about this and I find it so very uncomfortable. 

As I have mentioned before The Man's son is here visiting for 2 weeks so our days are being spent sitting around this nasty little table on the nasty hard chairs.  I realize I have excessive amounts of natural padding in the area of my derriere but no amount of natural cushioning is going to off set the discomfort of these chairs.  When I sit on these chairs for more than the length of a normal meal my back begins to ache, my shoulders droop and my butt hurts.  I don 't know how the rest of the population who visit here can spend endless hours sitting at this table in this room but for me I have had enough.  (I actually do have a theory on how these people endure the endless hours of sitting in the kitchen . . . it involves MASSIVE amounts of beer.  I don't think a college frat house consumes the amount of beer that these folks do.)

So besides being freezing cold and so very very tired of life in Michigan I also have to endure cold, hard chairs.  That is just cruel and inhuman !  Even the deer in the field have more comfortable places to rest. 

I am sure The Man's son and his friend think I am anti social but after an hour I just have to move to softer seats. My normal escape would be to the wonderful parlor room but that has been turned into the guest bed room and besides The Man refuses to put the heat on out there so it is about twenty below zero. Our house guests do not seem to mind this in the least because they come from Alaska so to them the room is like a sauna.  Meanwhile I am hunkered down on the bed trying to get warm while typing with my computer in my lap.  Normally the house would be cranking heat because The Man hates to be cold but for some reason he is keeping the heat at a dull roar for his son's sake.  

I am never happy am I ?  First I complain that the house is too warm and now I complain that I'm cold.  Go figure! My changing body temperature may have something to do with the exposure to all the germs that the endless stream of people arriving here are bringing with them. Normally The Man is telling me how careful we have to be about being around other people but for the past week it has not occurred to him that all sorts of "strangers" are stopping in to visit with the prodigal son.  Another reason for me to hunker down in the bed room and be a hermit. 

I'm counting the days until we get in the car and make the four day drive back to MY HOME in Florida. If I don't have fanny fatigue now I bet I will after that trip.  But at least I will be WARM !!!!!

WHO YOU CALLIN' "WE"

As a kid growing up in the late forties, early fifties I used to listen to "THE  LONE  RANGER" on the radio and then a few years later I would watch it on the TV.  The Lone Ranger was our Superman who always fought for the little guy.  He and his side kick Tonto, (who was a Native American, ie. Indian), rode around the Wild West getting rid of bad guys and restoring law and order to the land.  Every show ended with him riding off into the sunset yelling, "Heigh Ho Sliver".  Silver was his horse.  

(Dave Barry did a column on this phrase which caused many to write to him about their interpretation of  of this phrase . . .  did the Lone Ranger say, "Heigh HO Silver", or did he say "Heigh YO Silver"?  Dave Barry and I agree that it was "HO" not "YO" but I do think the jury is still out. )

Anyway . . .   Around the time that the Lone Ranger and Tonto rode across the air waves and TV screens of America I remember there was a joke about them that I thought was hilarious at the time and I still remember it to this day.  It went something like this:

            One day the Lone Ranger and Tonto found themselves surrounded by wild, savage Indians who were intent on killing the two of them.  The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Well Tonto, what should we do?" To which Tonto replied, "Who you calling 'WE' white man?" 

I can not tell you why I found/find this so funny but to this day when ever The Man says to me "WE need to do something I chuckle to myself and ALWAYS want to say in reply, "Who you calling' 'WE'  white man?" Some times I actually do say it and am rewarded with a puzzled look that questions my sanity.

But in reality it is a very appropriate response because "WE" NEVER EVER means the two of us.  It ALWAYS means Me !

The most recent example of this was yesterday when The Man and I had a discussion about what WE were going to do with our dirty laundry.  WE have a washer and dryer here at the Michigan house but these two appliances are about a Zillion years old and have been on their last leg for the past four years that I have been coming up here.  When the washer goes into spin cycle it sounds like a jet plane taking off or a NY subway train rattling through a tunnel.  I have questioned it for four years and have been told that it, "ALWAYS sounds like that". The dryer must have a loose belt because when it spins it sounds like a barn full of squealing pigs at dinner time. I have learned to accept the sounds and I have managed to keep my laundry down to two loads a week.  (At home in FL  I usually run a load of wash every couple of days. I LIKE CLEAN CLOTHES!)  The Michigan washer and dryer drive me nuts but I live with it and we manage.  

UNTIL . . . The Man's son arrived last week and he did a wash the other day. He was so horrified by the awful noises that The Man decided WE can NOT use these appliances any more until we purchase new ones.  (I would have done this four years ago but my opinion apparently does not count.) The Man's son went into town to the two appliance stores and guess what ? No one has any appliances because due to the virus all the plants have been shut down and production of new appliances has been at a stand still.  There is a year wait for what we are looking for. (WE need stackable washer & dryer and there just aren't any to be had.). WE could pay a small fortune for the appliances we found on line but The Man has decided to wait until Spring when there will be more to choose from and maybe even some sales. 

All this now leaves us with two options, well, actually three options.  

1. Don't wash any clothes for the next two weeks until we leave for Florida.

2. Take the dirty clothes out to the pond and wash them in the mucky water.

3. WE can haul all the dirty clothes and sheets and towels into town and spend three hours at the local              laundromat feeding an average of ten dollars in quarters into the nasty machines.

I'll give you three seconds to figure out which one WE are doing.  (Over the past five months WE have done ALL the grocery shopping, filling the car with gas, post office runs and every other thing that needs to be done.) 

Last week "WE" got to haul ass into town while The Man sat at home visiting with his son.  To be very honest WE love going out on "our" own for a couple of hours but I really have to chuckle that WE make these decisions and WE get to carry them out..  Today WE got to go into town again and do another two huge loads at the local "shelter for the homeless"/ laundromat. The place DOES have a TV but I have no idea who sets the station that is on and if it can be changed. I just roll with it.  Last week was Judge Judy and Dr. Phil, this week it was Fox News.  There are some ratty old magazines on the window sills that are probably from 1972 but I haven't wanted to pick them up for fear of disturbing the dust covered dead flies. 

There are many washers and dryers of various sizes but I wonder just how clean my clothes are getting when from the looks of the machines no one has cleaned them since they were installed fifty years ago. The hard plastic molded chairs are ice cold to sit on since the laundromat does advertise it has air-conditioning but fails to mention that it does NOT have heat. Today when I left the house with my load of wash it was 39 degrees outside with snow showers.  I guess the laundromat owners figure that the dryers will keep the place warm but since I was the only person in there that wasn't happening.  

Being alone in the laundromat is preferable to sharing the space with the likes of the woman I met last week.  Not saying she wasn't "pleasant" but by the time my clothes were dry I knew her entire life history, including the part about her living with a drunk for two years. To quote her, "Good thing I didn't marry the Bastard !"  Se also told me about the local woman who married the Black man and then divorced him so now he spends his days walking around the streets selling drugs.  (I have never seen anyone in this town who wasn't a Lilly White Scandinavian who says "EH?" after every sentence. ) 

So, WE are really looking forward to getting out of here and heading south to be with MY people. WE need to be in the company of friends and family so that when someone says, "Why don't WE do something?" I know they mean them AND me.