HELL OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I am talking to a wall. The wall is blank and just staring at me like I have 3 heads and am speaking a very foreign tongue. The wall's name is Ger. Alias, "Husband".
How is it that 2 people who can finish each others thoughts and sentences cannot communicate? I thought I was speaking English, American English, New York English, New York City English . . . and yet he does not comprehend my words. Simple words like, "Put the groceries in the kitchen", (They remain in the dining room), "Please pick up your shoes", (they too remain in the dining room), "Put the bills in the bedroom for me", (They also remain in the dining room). I better not ask him to move the car or that will end up in the dining room! Good thing we have a big dinning room. Messy though it may be.
I have thought that perhaps the man is hard of hearing but he never misses a call to supper. I thought maybe we had the beginnings of Alzheimer's (God Forbid!) but he is sharp as a tack when it comes to correcting something I have said in error. (That doesn't happen often but on those rare occasions Ger is right there to correct me.)
So I have come to believe we are dealing with selective hearing. We all suffered from it when we were teenagers and I guess now that Ger is over 70 he is reverting back to his adolescent behaviors. (Not the GOOD ones, just the irritating ones.) His focus is that of a puppy who has to pee. It is all over the place and not getting anywhere but leaving a trail beind him. How we can go from talking about doing something to him totally forgetting the entire conversation is beyond me. I guess he is easily distracted by Fox News and finds the chatter on the TV much more stimulating than anything I have to say. Maybe I should paint a card board box and cut it out like a TV screen and wear it on my head to get his attention.
But then, when you think about it, do I REALLY want the attention ? I think I will leave well enough alone and when I really need him to focus I will just call him on his cell phone and yell, "HELLOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo". But since he can never hear or find his cell phone I guess I am on my own.

P.S. Ger is a super guy and I love him dearly. He never fails to entertain me and the rest of the family through no effort of his own. He is a funny guy, that's why I married him. The only difference is that when I married him I would laugh WITH him, now we tend to laugh AT him.