This is the headline for Ger's day today. I leave him alone for 2 hours and all hell breaks loose!
A couple of weeks ago H told me he was sitting on the lanai when a HUGE lizard came walking across the floor. "IT WAS HUGE!" said H with arms outstretched. (Seriously?) "REALLY" insisted H, "It was bigger than anything I have ever seen".
WE have been living down here going on 9 years and if there is anything in abundance in South Florida, it is lizards. Call them cameleons if you will because they do change color depending on where they are sitting. Some folks call them newts or geckos but we just call the little suckers, lizards. Usually they range from about 3 - 6 inches long but we have seen some larger ones. Those are usually the "curly tails". They are similar to the little lizards but larger and with tails that curl up over their backs sort of like a scorpion. As far as we know they are all quite harmless and love to eat bugs so I say, "come on in and have a feast". I would rather have lizards than bugs. If the poor things do get into the house it is usually a death sentence for them as we have a very good bug service that comes once a month to spray the entire house to kill anything that may be living in here. The lizards aren't affected by the spray but when all the bugs die there goes the food source for the lizards so they shrivel up and die. Nothing like opening a closet to find the flattened, emaciated remains of a lizard.
Back to today . . . I went out this afternoon and called H to tell him I would be a little longer than I thought. He was a bit pissy but I attributed it to the fact that I was leaving him longer than expected. NOT ! When I arrived home the first thing H had to show me was his bruised and skinned knee. (He had said he was going to go for a walk so I thought he had lost his balance and fell. Fortunately that was not the case. His balance was fine.) This is the story I got:
H was walking into the den to watch TV when he saw GODZILLA sitting in a patch of sun on the floor. (I shall call the poor creature Godzilla because Ger's description of the poor thing matches the gigantic beast of Japan better than anything I could think of.) So, there sat Godzilla and there stood husband. H decides to go get one of the small nets that we have to clean the pool. He came up to said monster and slams the net down on it. This is where the story gets a little surreal . . . As H slams the net down his foot slips out from under him and he goes down on one knee. Luckily he keeps the net on Godzilla. There apparently was THRASHING AND WRITHING AND ROLLING "like an alligator". (Where H has ever seen an alligator do any of the above is beyond me because any gators we see are usually sleeping or floating lazily around in the lake.) Any way . . . the beast fought "like an alligator" and managed to slip its way out from under the net. (There was no mention of what H was doing at the time but I would bet the house he was screaming like a girl!) Once the creature escaped it ran like hell under the couch and hasn't been seen since.
But that is not the end of this story. H is sitting in his chair in the den, feet UP, watching like a hawk for the reappearance of Godzilla. I figure by now the poor thing has died of a heart attack and will never be seen again. If it is some place in the house it is going to be in big trouble as I am planning on closing the house up tonight and turning the AC back on. Temps are going up to the mid to high 80's tomorrow and that calls for AC. Once the door shut Godzilla is stuck with no way out and no food.
EXCEPT . . . I can just picture opening my suitcase in Maryland next week and having Godzilla pop out ! Hope he likes stink bugs cause that's what lives by Keri.
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