ISSUES WITH EARS

 I was just getting ready to sit down and go through my e-mail when I made the mistake of asking The Man is he wanted to keep the four ears of corn that our neighbor brought over on Saturday.  

BIG MISTAKE !   ( I can never say that phrase without picturing Julia Roberts in the movie "Pretty Woman".)

On Saturday the neighbor brought over a huge box of produce from their garden. This is the third time they have done this and each box of veggies could feed a family of twenty.  Included in this batch of goodies were 2 bags of blanched corn that had been cut off the cob so we could freeze it and four ears of corn still on the cob.  I LOVE corn on the cob but being plagued by diverticulosis I really can't eat that much corn before I end up doubled over in pain. Even if I chew chew chew it still manages to get stuck in my gut where it kills me for days. (It is an awesome way to loose about five pounds but the pain really isn't worth it.) 

Last night we ate some of the blanched corn and it was AMAZING !!!  I don't think I have ever eaten corn that was so sweet and delicious.  I tried to restrain myself and only ate a small amount but OMG was it ever delish ! 

Tonight I left out the four ears of corn thinking maybe we would have them with dinner but then my common sense kicked in and told me not to push my luck, even though I can't get over how delicious this corn is.  I REALLY wanted to cook it and drown it in butter but that is just asking for a weeks worth of pain so I just left it sitting on the counter. After dinner as I was cleaning up I asked the man if we should give the corn to the cleaning lady who is coming tomorrow.  

I might have asked him to drink from the toilet bowl . . . the look he gave me was one of total astonishment.  He then said we should put the corn out in the field for the deer to eat !  I couldn't let that go because this is GOOD corn so I told him that was not an option, the corn was too good for the deer. I then asked if he would eat the corn or does it bother his stomach as it does mine. ( I already know the answer to that because we have discussed what a bitch it is getting old and having tummies that require constant dietary considerations. I was just asking to make sure he didn't want the corn.) 

And this was his answer . . .   I SWEAR to you this is exactly what he said . . . 

" No, it's too much of a bother to cook the corn. You have to peel it and cook it and then there is all the corn silk that gets all over the place. It's too much work. Just give it away to the cleaning lady if you want."

The Man has NOT cooked in four years so I wonder how he remembers how much "work" it is to cook corn ?  I mean it 's not like I am asking him to make a seven layer cake from scratch with home made butter cream icing . . . It's a freaking ear of corn that you throw in the microwave as is, cut off the ends after eight minutes and roll it on a stick of butter.  It doesn't get much easier than that !  

I will offer the wonderful corn to the cleaning lady as a peace offering for having put up with this man for the past nine years. If I were her I would have quit well before now.