I had a chat this morning with my Michigan chiropractor who is doing a good job of keeping me standing upright. Not an easy task when living up here with The Man and his chores. (How The Man can travel an hour each way, two days a week, to do pulmonary therapy for an hour of walking on a tread mill and riding a stationary bike but can not feed the deer, carry things in from the car or go anywhere alone is beyond me.). But all that is an entirely different blog.
Back to my conversation with Kevin the chiropractor. Kevin is a real nice guy and is doing wonders for this stupid pain in my leg. After today's adjustment we stood talking for a few minutes and the conversation came around to men not listening. He brought it up, not me. Can't even remember how it happened but he actually admitted that he does not listen to half of what his wife says. She is a lovely young lady and not the sort of person you would choose to tune out as soon as they open their mouthes. In fact she even seems to be a bit quiet but that just may be because she is keeping things "professional".
This is the FIRST time in my life that I have EVER had a man admit he DOES NOT LISTEN. Amazing and unfortunately I did not get it on tape. The fact that Kevin admitted this male trait hit home today because of the events of this morning. I staggered out of the bed room at 9:30 AM to get ready for my 10:15 chiropractor appointment and vaguely wondered why The Man had not gotten me up before this. He usually wakes me about two hours before we need to go anywhere because it takes him two hours to get out of the house. I can get out of bed and be out the door in fifteen minutes if necessary, especially when it means getting an extra hour sleep. So this morning I was surprised at first that he had not gotten me up earlier but then realized EXACTY what the problem was. The Man had not been listening yesterday or Wednesday when I had told him numerous times during those two days that I had a TEN FIFTEEN chiropractor appointment on Friday. I understand that my expectations are too high, thinking first of all that The Man is listening to anything I say and secondly that The Man could retain information about anyone but himself for more than two nanoseconds. But I do believe in miracles so I persist in my hopes.
I stopped in the kitchen this morning and said, "Did you remember I have a 10;15 chiropractor appointment today?" I will give you three seconds to guess exactly what The Man said . . . "You never told me that!" . . . . Yup ! He actually said those words. Apparently he really is that stupid or he has a death wish because at that moment I would have hit him up side his head with a 2 X 4 except for the fact that I totally expected that answer. (It would not have mattered normally because I would have taken the car and gone by myself but with my droopy, tingly foot I am hesitant to drive. That will come to a quick halt if I keep doing as good as the past two days.)
It was a quiet trip into town, partly because The Man was not totally awake (He had only been awake an hour and a half) and partly because he was busy thinking about what he was going to be doing for the rest of the day, (basically nothing). I know this because any time he did speak it was to remind me of another thing I had to remind him to do.( Things like, check the mailbox, look for a phone number, and take a pill for his swollen ankles.) One of our stops was to get rid of the sixty or more beer cans that have not been returned for their deposit since May. Thanks to Covid-19 the only place you can now return cans and bottles is at stores that have automatic machines that you feed the cans into. This is a time consuming task that I got to do before going into the grocery to shop. (Again . . . taking all the LIGHT WEIGHT empty BEER cans ...I don't drink beer . . . out of the trunk where I had put them last week, putting them into a shopping cart, walking the cart about twenty feet and then standing by the machine feeding the cans into the machine is all WAY TOO STRENUOUS for The Man who drives an hour twice a week to exercise.) So the woman with the bad back and dead foot got to do it all. (At least I'm not walking like Quasimodo any more.). Once I finished the bottles and cans I went into the grocery store to spend the $13.20 that I had made on the refund. I had a list for ice cream and $.99 pork shoulder that his brother told us was on sale. I HAD to go get as many pork shoulders as possible because . . . wait for it . . . The Man's son is FLYING here in September and he will want to take some pork back with him to Alaska. (Apparently they do not have pigs in Alaska!) I won't even go there with all that, just know that I humored The Man and shopped for pork. It was at this point that I decided to walk to the back of the store and pick up some yogurt for myself for breakfast. Since I was going down the freezer aisle for The Man's ice cream I also picked up a couple of frozen dinners for the nights when I just don't feel like cooking. Add to that a couple of fresh peaches, some milk and a THIRTY pack of beer that was also on sale.
As I was getting into the car after putting everything in the trunk and having been gone for maybe a half hour total The Man says to me, "I didn't think we needed that much." Which I translated to, "What in God's name did you buy? " And, "What took you so long?" Thankfully I was taking large gulps of water from my water bottle so I did not have to respond immediately. All the while thinking, "I am going to kill him" . As we drove down the road on the way home he once again asked what I had bought and if I did get the pork ? I told him I got the pork and it was at that EXACT moment I saw the "lights" go out in his brain. He had now opened "THE NOTHING BOX" in his brain and was no longer with me.
As we drove along I started to tell him what else I bought but seeing that he was fully immersed in "The Nothing Box" I just stopped talking and thought to myself, "If I said, 'The Man in the Moon is Picking His Nose', would my man notice ?" I doubt it !
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