MICHIGAN MALADIES

 There should be a warning sign in flashing bright lights posted at the Michigan state line saying

"WARNING !!!!!  ENTERING THIS STATE COULD BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HELTH !"

We left Florida in mid May and arrived in the UP three days later. I thought I was in fairly good health when I left home but since arriving here I am being plagued by numerous WEIRD health issues. And I do mean weird ! And of course being in a different state I have no doctors up here, only the small walk-in clinic that I use in "emergencies".  

If you have been following my blog you are aware of some of the crazy things I'm experiencing but today I thought I would just make a list to see if any of it makes sense to me or anyone out there reading this. 

I have always had back problems probably because I have always been fat.  Back issues and "obesity" go hand in hand and up to this point I was willing to put up with the occasional twinges and debilitating pain that would strike at the most inopportune times if it meant I could continue to eat ice cream and cake. Having discovered that regular visits to the chiropractor and the massage therapist keep my back in fairly good working order I have gotten pretty lax about exercise and diet. So after traveling three days in the car to get from Florida to Michigan eating only at fast food stops I fully expected to have some back issues but to my surprise I was fine.  In fact I was better than fine. When we got up here I was all about working outside whacking weeds and pruning trees.  I was having a blast working outside in the cool, breezy Michigan days. I actually managed to go pain free for almost six weeks. I still am having issues with my lousy shoulder that still needs replacing but I could manage that discomfort with some Bayer Back and Body pills.  

Maybe it was the change in weather that started my body falling apart or maybe it was all that gardening catching up to me but about mid-July things started going down hill like an out of control Olympic skier on a ski jump. My back started giving me twinges more often and my knees both started aching and swelling. Then when I dropped the wrought iron chair on my pinkie toe things really started snow balling out of control.  Limping around on a maybe broken toe caused both knees to REALLY start swelling. When the knees swelled I started walking even wackier which then got my sciatic nerve all fired up. I had pains shooting down my right leg, past the swollen knee down to the right foot with its busted pinkie toe. While all that was going on my left hip started flaring up with it's usual tight muscles and achy back. I couldn't sleep on my right side because of the sciatica and I couldn't sleep on my left side because of the bum shoulder.  Can't sleep on my stomach because that irritated the herniated discs in my back and if I try to sleep on my back EVERYTHING starts to hurt.  

It was about at this point that I dug out the heavy duty Tylenol with Codeine that I have left over from some dental surgery a couple of years ago.  Maybe it is mind over matter but it did seem to help enough to get a decent nights sleep.  Which was a good thing because we were going camping for three nights in the RV and I knew I wasn't going to be having much fun if all these aches and pains continued. Thankfully God knew I needed those couple of days away because the entire time we camped I had almost no pain at all.  Apparently it was being saved up for our return. Once back from camping it all hit the fan and that was when I resorted to going to the walk-in where they tried to figure out what was going on but they really didn't have a clue. My pinky toe was no longer black and blue but now I had a strange "bruise" on the side of my knee. It just appeared one day, out of no where with no pain or additional swelling.  One day there was nothing,  the next I had a four inch long black and blue mark. I swear I did not hit it or anything . . . it just appeared.  About a week after that bruise one of my toes on my right foot started to hurt and when I took a shower that night it too had a big bruise right below the nail.  Again, I did not bump it or anything.  As all this was going on I was experiencing the most God Awful pain shooting down my leg from knee to foot. It would just come on and be so painful I would be in tears.  I decided it was the sciatic nerve so I started icing my back on and off all day and went back to the walk-in who once again didn't have a clue.  

Add to all this nonsense my usual tummy troubles that send me running for the potty at the most inconvenient times and the fact that I am hearing voices in my ear . . . oh wait . . . that's just the hearing aid battery telling me it is going dead . . . Oh Thank God . . . I thought for a minute I was really goner.  

Anyway . . .   I COULD/SHOULD take some action here and maybe eat healthier, get more exercise, take less pills, drink a LOT more, (water, not alcohol) and perhaps I would be a lot healthier.  But then what would I have to write about ?  And besides that, NONE of the above aliments is anything compared to the BHZ that has appeared on my face.  (That would be . . . BIG HONKING ZIT!).  Never in my life, even in my most adolescent acne days have I EVER had a zit like this.   I am talking Mt. Vesuvius !  This sucker started a couple of days ago and by this morning had taken over half my lower face and swelled my lip to the point of having difficulty speaking.  (Slight exaggerations here but it hurt like hell!). I have been wiping it down with rubbing alcohol which has done nothing so now I'm trying hot compresses which do seem to be helping.  Meanwhile in the back of my mind I'm wondering if the MRSA infection that I had in March has returned to kill me with giant zits.

Anything is possible up here in the U P !  If the bears don't kill you some random bizarre illness will. 

I AM working on getting myself a doctor up here but that may be another ordeal.