Once again I have failed to comprehend the male mind. I just don't think like men do so I have continue to have difficulty communicating with the opposite sex.
MY brain is like a bubbling vat of lava, constantly motion and usually heated to the boiling point and beyond. The Man's brain is like a single ice cube sitting alone in the frozen tundra of Siberia. WE are at two VERY opposite ends of the thought process.
Case in point . . . I wake up this morning, check the weather on my phone, (Just for shits and giggles because they are never right), get dressed in what I hope will be appropriate clothes for the days weather, make the bed, empty my c pap machine water tank, put away some clothes that I had left out last night, plug in the computer and my phone and then wander into the kitchen. As usual The Man is seated at the kitchen table, TV on and phone within reach. Because the phone is on the table I know he has been talking to someone because most times he has no idea where his phone is. I say good morning and we discuss the weather. I tell him that my weather app says we can expect rain today around 1:00. This makes him happy because we need rain. I then ask who he has been talking to, and he tells me about the two phone calls that he has made to different doctors. We discuss both of these calls at length and then move on to what I am going to be doing today. I tell him I have a chiropractor appointment at 11:15 and then I was going into town. We talked about all the stops I was going to make and why I was making those stops. He asked me to stop at one place for him so I added that to the list. With all of that taken care of I am now "free" to go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and what ever else is necessary to get me functioning and looking like a human being (Not an easy task!)
When I come out of the bathroom I stop at the refrigerator to see what I can munch on for breakfast. As I am standing in the open door way of the fridge I hear from across the kitchen . . . "ONE O'CLOCK !" I turn to look at the man with a puzzled look on my face, wondering if perhaps he is on the phone with someone who he is irritated at because the tone of voice is not friendly. As I turn he loudly repeats, "ONE O'CLOCK!!!!" Even more angrily than the first time. I am still totally puzzled by this outburst but am starting to wonder if perhaps he has had a mini stroke and lost his mind. I'm now staring at him and I ask, "What????" still with a completely confused expression on my face. My answer is, "O N E O'CLOCK! ONE O'CLOCK. ONE O'CLOCK !!!!!!!" which he is yelling at me in a very irritated tone of voice.
I lost it !!! This man is sitting there yelling "one o'clock at me from across the room and I haven't got a clue as to what the hell he is talking about! So I yelled back . . . "WHAT ABOUT ONE O'CLOCK??? YOU KEEP YELLING ONE O'CLOCK AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!"
His answer, "The rain !!! You said the it would start raining at one o'clock !"
OK . . . now I don't know about you or any other person on God's green earth but none of any of that made one bit of sense to me. I don't know what or how I was supposed to respond to any of that. Was he asking if I really did tell him it would rain at 1:00? Did he think that a magic rain fairy had come hopping through the forest to bop me on the head and turn me into the magic weather fairy who has the power to push a button to make it rain ? I just don't know what to do at this point so I just walked away.
The Man is NUTS !!!!! And he is sucking me right down the crazy person whirlpool with him.
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