Over this past week I have been experiencing Tummy Troubles. Nothing new there but I really did a stupid thing and now I am paying the price. Two weeks ago I was in the grocery store where I naturally gravitate to the bakery department. I actually don't have to "gravitate" at all because this particular store is very smart. When you enter this store you are IN the bakery department. In Florida Publix gives the illusion of caring about your health so when you walk into any Publix you are in the produce department. Being surrounded by Kumquats and Kale does nothing to entice me to buy junk food. But Jacks in the UP, well there is a SMART store!! As the automatic double door opens you are transported to your moms kitchen when you were a kid. My mother was always baking something, (I am her daughter for sure). To this day I can smell that kitchen. And so when I walk into Jacks I float over to the fresh baked donuts, cakes, pies, breads and the other million tempting goodies that are all calling to me. Unfortunately, on this particular day I wandered through the display tables and came upon "home" made granola. I am a sucker for granola !! I love the stuff !!! And so in my weakened state of mind I bought a container of the stuff which I proceeded to shove into my face the minute I left the store. By the time I returned to pick up The Man from his hour of exercise I had eaten at least a quarter of the granola. Over the next 48 hours I got the contents of the container down to a little less than half.
I KNOW better !!! I suffer from diverticulosis, a condition that causes my intestines to rebel against nuts and seeds. What is granola ? NUTS AND SEEDS!!!! Does that ever stop me? NO, of course not. I compensate by "chewing carefully", drinking lots of water, taking probiotics daily. All of which usually work very well if I refrain from overdosing on the nuts and seeds. Because I have not had a flare-up in over 2 years I stupidly figured I was good to go and my innards had made a miraculous transformation to those of a 15 year old. NOT ! Within 2 days I knew I was in for a bout of pain and discomfort. Fortunately I did have a half bottle of some medication that the doctor had prescribed for me the last time I ate stupid so I started tossing pills into my face, As Prescribed, for the next few days. UN fortunately I only had a HALF bottle so my tummy is not completely happy yet. BUT if I watch my diet, (I always WATCH my diet, I just fail to CONTROL my diet. I watch the cookies and potato chips as I shove them into my face just so that when the doctor asks if I am "watching my diet" I can answer honestly.), I can get everything to settle back down to "normal".
And so . . . . when The Man suggested I stop to pick up some Chinese food on my way home from church last night I had to stop and think about what I could get that would not get my innards all rilled up again. Pain is a powerful motivator! The Man loves Pepper Steak from China Lily, our local Chinese fine dining establishment. (Yes, we have restaurants here in the UP, just not anything like we have in Florida. In Florida I can dine at a 10 star restaurant, if I want to mortgage my house and sell my car and kids, in the UP we dine at one quarter star restaurants. Occasionally you may come across a one star place but those are few and far between. ) I decided I would get myself some Wonton Soup. That should be safe. But then I saw the Crab Rangoon and I couldn't help myself. I mean how bad can Crab Rangoon be? It's the same little "noodles" that are in the Wonton soup but stuffed with that wonderful creamy cheese stuff.
I brought our dinners home and we sat down for a delicious feast. The Man managed to eat maybe half of the huge portions of pepper steak and I ate half my soup and ALL 6 of the Crab Rangoons. They were wonderful !!
And I paid for that treat all night !!
Today I had tea and toast for brunch and even that is not sitting too well. The Man decided he was going to finish off his left over Chinese dinner, which, last night, I had closed back up in the original container and placed in the refrigerator. If HE had put HIS leftovers away then this mornings event would never have happened.
As I am sitting, nibbling on my "delicious" toast when I hear from behind me, "WHERE'S MY LEFTOVERS !!??" in exactly that tone of voice that all wives everywhere just love to hear. It is like nails on a chalkboard to any woman who has ever been married. (The tone implies that WE have purposely hidden the man's food just to annoy him. The men never stop to think about how silly that is when there are SO many better ways to drive them nuts than hiding leftovers!) I turn to see The Man standing in front of the open fridge just staring straight ahead of him. Like the leftovers were put in a totally empty refrigerator just so they would be blatantly visible to the first fool who opens the fridge door. The Man has not moved a muscle. He has not reached up to move a single thing, he has neither looked up nor down, just straight ahead like a dumb ass donkey with blinders on. Of course the leftovers are right in front of him "hidden" behind an egg roll and a half of an apple. (I may join the CIA since I am SO good at hiding top secret items!).
So now not only does my stomach still hurt but I've got a tension headache like you can't believe. Maybe I'll have some granola to ease my angst.
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