I LOVE nuts. Pistachio, almond, hazel, Brazil, cashews, peanuts, and my all time favorite, walnuts. I will take a hand full of walnuts as a snack any time but never, never macadamia nuts. Years ago I discovered that if I eat even the smallest amount of macadamia nuts I get violently sick to my stomach. It isn't pretty and it sure does keep me far, far away from anything with those little suckers in it. I often wonder if I traveled to Hawaii would I have a problem with the food. Do they put macadamia nuts in everything over there?
Strangely enough it was not a macadamia nut that almost killed me, but rather a hand full of almonds. Science and medicine are dangerous things. We are constantly being told that this food or that food is good or bad for us. And seeing how I love ALL food, (except you know what sort of nuts) I am always willing to listen to the researchers and add something more to my diet. (I have yet to take anything OUT of my diet but maybe that will come some day.) I had been reading a few things about the wonderful benefits of almonds so I bought a bag of the delicious little guys to have on hand as a snack choice rather than walnuts. (I really do prefer my walnuts to be baked inside of brownies or sprinkled on ice cream but will eat them plain.)
I was headed out for a swim in our pool and grabbed a fist full of almonds as I was going out the door. I popped 2 into my mouth and put the rest of them on a chair while I jumped in and cooled off. In mid air I took a deep breath preparing to go under water and inhaled the semi chewed almonds. As I came up for air I found I couldn't inhale because of all the pieces now in my wind pipe. There was no thought of panic, no life flashing before my eyes, just the cool calculated thoughts of OH SHIT, WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW!? I could cough and I could get a very tiny bit of air in but it was not enough to survive on for very long. I figured I better head inside before I passed out in the pool and Ger found me hours later floating face down. I was motivated to breathe very shallow gasps of breath that sounded like the last gasps of a dying cow. I couldn't speak so when I got inside I had to bang on the counter top to get husbands attention. As usual he was sitting at the other end of the house watching TV. He looked up with his most annoyed expression on his face, like "what the hell are you doing now to disturb my day?" but my frantic gasps and waving of arms alerted him that there might be a problem here. All I could think of to do was wash out the remaining nuts from my mouth and stand on my head to get the rest of the mess out of my wind pipe and lungs. I knew the standing on my head was really not an option for a 65 year old fat lady and I didn't have a clue what I wanted husband to do but I knew I didn't want to die alone. (That expression "Misery loves company" also applies to people who are dying.) Ger by now is in the kitchen with me, a panicked expression on his face and a thousand questions pouring from him. "Should I call 911?" (I hadn't really gotten to the point of thinking I REALLY was going to die so I answered NO to that one.) "What should I do?" was asked repeatedly and I never did have an answer for that. I figured the Heimlich maneuver was probably a good thought but I also knew that there was no way I would have time to teach it to husband before I passed out. My only option was to throw myself across the edge of the sink a few times while rinsing my throat. I could feel that the air was getting into my lungs better in the bent position so I just stayed there for a while until I could breath easier and stop coughing. I must say it did put a really good scare into me and I will no longer eat anything unless I am sitting down and paying attention to what I am doing.
I realize my brain is getting mushy in my "old" age and I do have to pay attention more to things that I do but when I have to concentrate on eating I think I am one step away from the padded room in the dementia ward. Although, if you think about it, this may be a very good way for me to diet. If I have to concentrate more when I am eating I shouldn't be snacking as much so in the long run I may have discovered a way to lose weight. I really don't want to be a fat corpse .
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