Have you googled Aerobics lately looking for just the right exercise plan for you? I have NOT since exercise is not in my vocabulary but I am sure there are at least 12 thousand programs to choose from. There are water aerobics, very popular in Florida among the senior population, chair aerobics which are very popular with the Senior senior citizens who don't like to get wet and probably bed aerobics for those of us who really don't like to exercise but since our doctor says we should do something physical for 30 minutes a day we can justify laying in bed an extra half hour in the morning wiggling our fingers and toes. (I'm really not so sure about the validity of that last one but I'll bet anything there is some sort of video out there for bed aerobics.)
I DO NOT EXERCISE . . . It is a know fact that I will flat out lie to my doctor every 6 months and tell her, with a straight face, that, "Of course I exercise daily!" She knows full well I am lying through my teeth but she just humors me and we move on. I consider a walk to the bathroom, fridge and bed the complete exercise program needed for someone my age. That was until I moved into this 6 wheeled rolling gymnasium.
Once upon a time I lived in a house with stairs. Stairs to the basement where I had to go almost daily to do laundry. Stairs to the top floor where the bedroom was, so that was at least 3 trips a day, down in the morning, laundry up during the day, change of clothes a few times a day and of course, going to bed at night. There were even a few steps from the front walk up to the front door. Lots of opportunity for exercise.
When we bought a condo in Florida we bought one on the second floor thinking it would be "safer" and maybe breezier. That got old pretty fast when you went to the grocery store and had to lug 6 bags of groceries up that HUGE flight of steps. (It wasn't that huge but it did take the wind out of you when you were carrying a six pack and a pizza.)
FINALLY we bought the Florida house that had ZERO steps. Now that was heaven. The only steps we felt with were the 4 steps into the pool. When I sold that house and rented condos the prominent factor was ALWAYS " NO STAIRS"! And so for the past 19 years of my life I have not had to move this body up or down more than on step a week.
Fast Forward to the rolling gym. Moving into this thing for a month is a challenge enough but add to that the daily aerobics program I'm sure I will be dead by August. Aerobics are supposed to make you healthier but RV aerobics are more like the Iron Man marathon or the Olympics, all without the reward of a gold medal. The aerobics program here started even before we left the drive way so I was lured into believing I could actually manage this.
We begin slowly with the basic KNEE BEND AND STRETCH. (Usually a warm up activity) While standing in the stationary RV you bend down to place items in the cabinet under the sink and then stretch up to put more items in the overhead compartments. Because the overhead compartments are made for someone with the reach of a giraffe I have to get the little one step step stool. So far so good.
Once this exercise is mastered we have the step up/ step down of 3 steps that are about 12 feet high. Going from the ground up on to the pull out step, then on to the bottom step of the RV and finally up into the RV itself. Thankfully there is a handrail on the left outside the door and one on the right inside the RV. Not only do I get the leg exercise of stepping up and down but my biceps/triceps are getting HUGE from all the pulling I am doing trying to get myself up the 3 steps.
NOW we are ready to add the ultimate factor to this already strenuous program. START YOUR ENGINES and lets get rolling down the road. Once "air born" we can add the SIDE BEND AND STRETCH. This exercise involves sitting in the front seat and bending sideways and stretching backwards until your shoulder joint pops out. It is a painful exercise and should never be attempted from the drivers seat while the vehicle is in motion. This stretch usually leads into the bend and crawl because when an item can not be reached with just the bend and stretch it is necessary to bend so far sideways that you fall out your seat and crawl into the main portion of the RV. Once in the cabin you attempt to stand. As simple as this sounds it is necessary to factor in the road hazards of Canada and Alaska. Unlike anywhere else on the Northern Continent the roads in Canada and Alaska do not develop potholes. They rather buckle and roll like the worst roller coaster at Six Flags. This "permafrost" phenomenon (which I have yet to fully understand), produces a rolling road that equates to paddling a canoe in 8 foot seas. The RV hits these "rolls" which cause the front to fly into the air while the back is slamming down. (Sort of riding a bucking bronco in a rodeo, although I think that might be easier.) All this motion leads us into the JUMP AND BOUNCE portion of the aerobic program. While being bounced up and down you are also being tossed from side to side like the ball in a pin ball machine. All this motion strengthens your ankles and wrists since they are taking the brunt of the exercise. (NOTE . . .Helmets and shin guards are recommended during this portion of the program.)
BUT the ultimate test to the jump and bounce is when you are standing in the moving RV and working with food. All the previous exercises have only been a lead in to the FINAL test. Can you stand in the kitchen doing all these exercises at the same time and still make a bologna sandwich ?
Hopefully knives are NOT involved and the mustard will not become airborne just as you are ready to spread it on the bread. I have learned NEVER to serve grapes with lunch as they roll off the plate way too easily and fly all over the RV floor. When this happens you just kiss them up to God and move on, hopefully not stepping on them as you make the return journey to the front seat.
As for getting back into the front seat while balancing a sandwich and drink, (water for the driver something a LOT stronger for the passenger) it is necessary to incorporate all exercises and to also add the ROLL OVER PLOP ! This is the last exercise for the day and it involves a deep knee bend, a slight turn sideways and a roll over the seat arm and a plop into the seat, all without dropping lunch or falling sideways into the drivers lap at 80 miles an hour.
Once the days journey is ended you get to cool down with a gentle fall out of the seat and onto the ground where you can remain until morning and start this all over again.
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