DA Duh DA. DING

This sound that Dwayne's phone makes when some one sends him a text message.
           Da duh Da DING!!
It's that  DING that really gets your attention. And when the phone DING'S at 2 in the morning or at 7:00 AM it REALLY gets your attention.

F----------------------------------K is the sound that Dwayne makes when his  phone goes off at 2 in the morning or 7:00 AM.  ( I won't even begin to tell you what I have to say at these times but you know it isn't nice.  And the crazy thing about this is IT IS ALWAYS the same person texting at these stupid hours. Why she has to text at these times is beyond our understanding All we know is we are going to KILL her the next time we  see her.

I understand how people who never travel can forget that there are time zones across the entire world. Here in the good old US of A we have 4 different time zones and folks living on the East coast can sometimes forget that here in Alaska we are at the total opposite end of the country and thus are FOUR  hours behind the time in Maine. When it is 5 PM in Portland, Maine it is 2 PM in Portland Oregon. (Only a 3 hour difference there.) Come up to Alaska and we are even earlier than the East coast. If it 11 AM in, lets say Michigan, it is ONLY 7 IN THE MORNING in Alaska.  DON'T CALL!
If it is 11 PM in ALASKA it is 3 IN THE MORNING in Michigan or Florida or wherever on the East coast we happen to be.

You know the battle cry, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO"?  I am having a sign made for this person who lives in Alaska that reads, "REMEMBER THE TIME DIFFERENCE"!
It is bad enough when we are in Florida and she wakes us at 2 AM but now that we are here in Alaska SHE has traveled to Michigan and is now waking us at 6 or 7 AM.

Now you must be thinking, "Well, if you have to get in touch with someone about something important then it rally shouldn't matter what time it is. Yes, I agree ! BUT . . . Here is a sample of the massages we get at 2 AM . . . "HI DWAYNE!" . . .  "ARE YOU AWAKE?" . . .   "HOW ARE YOU DOING?" . . .  It could be any one of these three same messages at any given time. There is nothing earth shattering needed, no deaths or births to report, no tornado warning, NOTHING of any importance. Just the same REALLY annoying text. Again and again and again.

We have tried everything from answering right away but that encourages more texts. If we ignore the message the phone just continues to DING so we have to at least wake up enough to find the freaking phone and read the message. Not responding is usually the best way to handle the situation except for the times when the sender must have nothing better to do or possibly have had way too much beer to drink and will persist until they receive an answer.

So far Dwayne has NOT allowed me to send a response because he knows it would not be very nice and we really have to at least be civil.

My solution is to fling the phone as far into the yard as possible and then run it over with a truck. (I would prefer to fling the sender of the message into the yard and run her over with a truck but I would probably end up in jail. Although I think any jury who heard the circumstances probably would acquit me.) And so for now I have D sleep with the phone under HIS pillow so at least it won't wake me up.

Another solution would be to get a new phone that can be shut down at night but that is pretty radical.