NEAR DISASTER IN DETROIT

No, there was not a plane crash or even a flight delay. The near disaster in Detroit was much more traumatic and may leave me with lasting emotional and physical scars for the rest of my life. I wonder if I have a potential law suit here considering the magnitude of the event.

On Wednesday I was making my migratory flight from Escanaba, MI to West Palm Beach. This is a full day trip starting in the tiny one gate airport in Escanaba, A change of planes in Detroit and another change in Atlanta. The last time I made this trip my plane from Detroit was delayed 2 hours which caused me to miss my connection in Atlanta which then got me home to West Palm around midnight. I really thought Wednesdays trip was going to be a piece of cake because there were no rogue storms anywhere near my connecting flights so everything should be on time and running smoothly. And that did seem to be the case as I sat in Atlanta waiting to make the final hop home.  All systems were "GO" as NASA would say. I just wonder if they have a code or key word for my adventure in Detroit.

I arrived in Detroit on time with an hour between flights so I had plenty of time to make it from one gate to another. At Detroit's airport this means a 3/4 mile walk from one terminal to another because you know that the arrival and departure gates are always the last ones at the far ends of the terminals. Thank goodness for the tram that runs the length of the main terminal so it makes it a little easier. When I got off my Escanaba plane I checked the monitors to see what gate my next flight would be leaving from and started my trek down the terminal, onto the sky high escalator that takes you to a long tunnel under the runways and then back up another huge escalator into the main terminal. From there I go up another level to the tram which runs the entire length of the building down to my departure gate. I always like to get right to my gate to make sure that really is where my plane will be  because there have been several occasions that I have gotten to a gate to board a plane and the plane was sent to a different part of the airport to load. In this case I was at the proper departure gate and the plane would be on time. NOW and only now do I get to go pee !  I HATE when I am in such dire need on a plane that I am forced to climb over people in order to get to the lavatory only to find it is occupied. Now I have to "hang out" in the aisle in the way of the stewardess until the toilet is vacated by some one who seems to have eaten at least twenty burritos prior to boarding. To avoid this nightmare I will time my potty stops in the terminals just so in order to make it from one airport to another without enduring the airplane toilet adventure. This being the case I made my way into the conveniently close airport ladies room and chose my stall with great care. Never one that isn't clean, never one that is in view of all the ladies standing on line waiting. (Some times you have to settle for which ever potty is vacant but in this case I had my pick of the place.) When I shut the door I realized I had chosen a stall with a door that was hard to close. It required a slight push from my shoulder to close tightly but it was now too late to change spaces so I just twisted the latch and got down to business.  Once I was all put back together I grabbed the small latch and gave a pull.
NOTHING !  The door was wedged tight ! The latch gave me nothing substantial to grab onto so I tried to yank on the hook on the back of the door but that did nothing either.  No Worries . . .  I'll just grab the top of the door and pull except that the top of the door was about 4 feet above my head and well out of reach for me to grab it.  Who in Heavens name puts a ten foot high door on a bathroom stall ?????????  It's not like there are women who may vault over the door of your stall in order to invade your territory. In fact I don't think I have EVER seen a woman climbing over a toilet door or at least not since junior high school.
So there I was . . . STUCK . . .  in the ladies room ! My only escape plan other than crawling UNDER the door, which I was NOT about to do, was to bend down and grab the bottom of the door and YANK ! My first try was a failure so I grabbed the door again and gave it a mighty pull which resulted in the door pulling free from the frame at such a great velocity that when it hit me in the head I thought I was going to be knocked out. It took me a couple of seconds to realize I was not unconscious or bleeding but my throbbing left ear was still ringing and would remain bright red until well after I got home.

I think I would rather put up with flight delays. At least then I have more time to choose wisely when using the airport restroom.