PERCOLATOR

What a funny word . . .  percolator. It's a word I haven't thought of in years and probably if you are under the age of fifty you may not even know what it is.  According to Wikipedia it is a means of brewing coffee which now in the age of coffee "pods" is about as old as milking a cow by hand. But this is exactly how I remember my mom and even myself making coffee. It is a slow process of putting the coffee grinds in a metal basket which stood on a hollow pole that was placed into the metal coffee pot filled with cold water. It usually took at least 15 minutes to get the water boiling enough that it would be pushed up through that metal tube, spray down over the grounds and drip coffee back into the pot. The little glass bulb in the center of the pot cover allowed you to see just how dark the water was getting so that along with the wonderful smell of fresh "perked" coffee you knew when your coffee was ready.

I bring all this up because my brain is like a percolator that decides to start brewing it's own brand of "coffee" at three in the morning. It all begins with the slow slide from sleep into consciousness because my brain is starting to whisper, "Helloooooooooooo, You have to Peeeeeeeeeeeee". This may or may not actually be the case but because my brain is evil it does this to me every night anywhere between two and four A.M. As I drift up from the depths of slumber I know I should NOT open my eyes because once I do that I am going to look to the only source of light in the room which happens to be the digital clock on the night stand. "Oh Crap!  It's three o'clock."  Now it might be any time between two and four but no matter what time it is the "pot" is beginning to perk. O.K. So now I'm sitting up on the side of the bed playing hide and seek with my slippers that I know are there someplace but my toes just can't seem to find them. No way am I going to turn on a light at this hour because there is still the outside chance that I can make it to the bathroom and back and STILL get back to sleep before my percolator brain gets to a full boil. But no, it is too late . . .  As I stagger to the bathroom, (having found my slippers), the "coffee" is already starting to brew. I get thinking that I went to sleep last night without my mouth guard and now my jaw is tight from clenching my teeth in my sleep so I really should dig out my night guard before I return to bed. That means digging around in the bathroom closet/medicine cabinet/linen closet/ garbage dump. There is enough light from the moon coming through the sky light that I don't have to turn on the bathroom light because THAT would surely wake me up. (At this point I am still thinking I will trick my brain into returning to sleep once I get back in the bed. Fool that I am!)  I manage to find the item I'm looking for but have now decided that I REALLY need to clean out this closet some time in the near future. (My brain is taking notes the whole time.) Still thinking I will be able to fall back to sleep I crawl back into the bed only to have my brain go into a full boil . . . I get thinking . . . about God knows what but the percolator is heated and the coffee is brewing and I can not get the burner turned off. The more I tell myself to STOP THINKING the more my brain comes up with to think about.

It is at this point that I decide I should write a blog about my early hour escapades.  With this thought in my brain I am now lying in bed composing a blog in my head. The longer I lay there the more my brain comes up with so it is at this point, about an hour from the time I first woke up, that I realize the battle is lost and the ONLY solution is to get out of bed, put on my robe and go write a freaking blog so my brain will finally stop bubbling over with thoughts and I can maybe salvage a couple of hours of sleep before I have to get up for the day.

Maybe I'll have a cup of coffee when I do get up for the day, all this percolator talk has got me craving a hot cup of fresh perked pod.