GETTING TO THE POINT BY WAY OF TIBET

O. M. G.    Is it really too much to ask for a simple, DIRECT conversation?  Or how about giving directions ?  I now know why men NEVER ask directions. It's because they can not get to the point in less than an hour and once they do get to the point they are incapable of listening to an answer for more than three seconds.

Apparently our male population has never WRITTEN "Cliff Notes". I know plenty of men who only got through high school and/or college thanks to reading Cliff Notes or comic books. (Do you think there is a "Graphic Novel",  AKA  "comic book", for War and  Peace?) I have been known to use short cuts to cram for exams but I also think I can make a point in a conversation in less than three hours. (Unless I am blogging)

All this is brought to mind this morning as I walked through the living room on my way to the toilet. (FYI . . . do NOT stop me when I am headed to the potty!  It will not end well for either of us.)
Any way . . . There I was walking from the kitchen, around the counter, through the living room when a voice from the couch said, "Cathie, come here!" in a tone of voice that sounded like there was a man eating tiger about to attack. Now at this point I have to make the executive decision as to whether this new "crisis" is more important than me wetting my pants. I opted for the crisis just for the hell of it. I stopped my forward momentum and turned to the man with a look of expectation, knowing full well this was going to be entertaining to say the least. The man asked me to come over to the couch and sit down so that he could then point across the room to where I had just been standing three seconds ago so I could see that there was a situation in the making. The conversation went something like this . . .

D . . . "Look over there" as he pointed in the general direction of the TV
Me . .  "Yes ?
D . . . "Do you see it?"
Me . . .  "What? The TV?" (Which was off)
D . . . "No.  Your thing!"

At this point I'm at a total loss as to what the hell he is talking about and am two steps from either hitting him up side his head or calling the local insane asylum to have either him or me committed.

Me . . . "What thing?"
D . . . " Your computer! It is going to slide off the TV stand"

I am now practicing DEEP BREATHING and Zen Yoga to remain calm and to not burst out laughing hysterically.  There on the end of TV stand sat my lap top. I had put it there yesterday when I finished using it and when I put it down I laid it on top of it's carrying case so it was sitting half on and half off the case tipped at a slight angle.  It had not moved since I had put it there 24 hours ago and probably would not have moved even if we had a 7.6 earthquake but The Man was alert to it's "precarious" placement. The fact that he could very well have gotten up and moved it himself apparently never occurred to him. Nor did did it occur to him to just point it out as I walked by.
Nope . . . That is not how we do things . . . Everything must be an "event".

I realize that during these times of quarantine we are looking for things to entertain our selves with but some of us do have priorities . . . and going to the bathroom just happens to be one of my top priorities so please get to the point before I get to the point of peeing on your foot !