HEARING AID

I have an idea for a new type of hearing aid . . . not one that will improve the volume of what a person hears but something that will get the attention of the person who is SUPPOSED to be listening.

I have seen a comedy routine several times about the different types of minds of men and women. To "quote" the comedian who came up with this very funny and unique idea . . . Men and women have very different types of brains.  Women have a brain that is comprised of a mess of wires, criss crossing all over the place, shooting electric charges in every direction and never stopping. Men are just the opposite. They have much simpler and organized brains.  A man's brain is comprised of several different boxes, each one kept separate from the other. When a man wants to think about something he goes to that box, opens it up, thinks about what is inside that ONE box and then shuts the box and moves on. Included in a man's brain boxes is a very large box that contains NOTHING. The nothing box is where a man spends most of his time when he is not using the sex, food or sports boxes.      (You have to check out Youtube and watch Mark Gungor explain "The Nothing Box". It is hysterical and never gets old no matter how often you watch it. )

My idea for the new type of hearing aid is a device that will shut down all circuits in a woman's head and close all the boxes in a mans head so that when someone is speaking to the man or woman they will have nothing else to focus on except what the speaker is saying to them. Added to this "shut off" feature of the hearing aid there should also be an added signal that keeps the receiving party from speaking. Then and only then can the speaking party say something and actually have it heard by the receiving party with the hopes of the receiver listening and comprehending what is being said to them.

All this stems from a need on my part to be heard and understood when I speak. I have often mentioned in my blog that I wonder if I am speaking English because the persons around me do not seem to ever hear me no less understand what I am saying. The perfect example, most recently, had to do with the latest jigsaw puzzle Mr. Man and I are working on. Last night he handed me a puzzle piece and said, "Can you see where this piece goes?" I took the piece, searched the picture on the box cover and found where it should fit in. I showed The Man the picture on the box and held the puzzle piece next to where it looked like it would go. It made perfect sense to me but not for The Man. He was hung up on a small white line that, in his mind, HAD to go on the edge. The problem being that ALL the edge pieces were already in places so the piece he handed me could not possibly fit in the edge.  (Here we have a perfect example of the "puzzle box" in Mr. Man's brain is open and has left no room for common sense.)  I tried to explain in a simple manner that the line he was convinced was an edge line was indeed a line in the middle of the picture. It "looked" like an edge line but it was not.  This explanation was not being heard by The Man and no amount of reason was going to help him see it.  It was at this point that I "had" to see to dinner and walked away. A few minutes later there was a great deal of pounding and cursing coming from the area of the puzzle but now it was my turn to ignore.

But Mr. Man is not the only person who has this type of hearing problem. I know several people, mostly women, who hear nothing that anyone says because they are so focused on what they are thinking about. This is a case of too many wires firing signals in too many directions at the same time thus causing them the total loss of the ability to HEAR.  I'm sure you know people who are "talkers" . . . That person who just talks and talks and talks and doesn't let you say a word. Every so often the "talker" throw you a bone and ask you a question but just as soon as you open your mouth to answer they are off and talking again without ever giving you a chance to respond. My new "hearing aid" would help this by silencing the "talker" and giving you a chance to speak and hopefully be heard and understood.

And that is probably why I enjoy writing so very much . . . If you don't want to focus on this I'll never know.