I was a VERY "stupid" child. That would be a horrid thing to say in this day and age but it is the truth. I wan't "worldly" and I wasn't someone who could pick up on innuendos or hints. I required point blank instructions given one at a time allowing me time to process and absorb. I often wonder if I would have been labeled as having a learning disability or was I just a "slow learner". What ever the cause I managed fairly well to over come my failings, even if it took nearly fifty years.
In high school I was required to learn a foreign language. In my infinite ignorance I, (or the powers that were directing my life at that time), decided it would be a good idea for me to learn LATIN ! Having never known anything about different languages I went into this class like a pig to the slaughter. I was in WAY over my head and had NO idea what the hell I was doing. Two years later I managed to flunk that class and go on to an "easier" language . . . French. It really wasn't much better but I did have those two failed years of Latin to help me. I think I passed the "French" regents and final with a 66. Language was NOT my thing !!!
On the flip side of that I can look at a piece of furniture and tell you how to turn it in order to get it through a door way and around a corner. I guess I am better solving "spacial" problems then ones with with words. I HATE abstract math problems or ones that involve several steps . . . as in algebra and geometry. I also hate math problems where a train leaves a station at 12:32 and moves at 63 MPH heading east and a second train leaves a different station . . . well you get what I'm talking about. TMI . . . TOO MUCH INFORMATION !!!!!!!! I can't process all that !
And so, knowing all that, I find it extremely cruel that God, in his infinite wisdom and extraordinary sense of humor, has seen fit to have me living with a person who can NOT make a bit of sense to me when he speaks.
The Man does not know how to USE HIS WORDS !!
Remember when your young child wanted something and they would grunt and point at whatever? My response was always . . . "USE YOUR WORDS". In other words, think about the message you want to convey and then using the least amount of DESCRIPTIVE words tell me what you are thinking.
OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN . . . I do believe I could communicate with an orangutan easier than I can talk with this man.
Case in point . . . Today we are having workers here to take out our bathtub and replace it with a walk-in-shower. We ordered this work last May when we first returned to Michigan. We have been waiting 4 months for the material to come in and for the work to start. Today is the day ! This morning we were up early anticipating the arrival of the workers. The Man was up three hours before any scheduled arrival as usual. I staggered out about ten minutes before anyone was due to arrive so I could wash my face and brush my teeth. As I wandered into the kitchen The Man spoke. (Please remember I am still really not awake yet.) The conversation went something like this . . . The Man . ."IT'S been on order but it's not here." Me . . . "?" The Man . . . "They couldn't get the doors" Me . . . "?" The Man . . ."But they're still going to do the work." Me . . . "?" (Please note that I am standing in the door way to the kitchen, I am still half asleep AND I have to pee.). NONE of this conversation is making the least bit of sense to me. I'm still back at what the "F" is "IT" and who the "F" is "THEY" ? I manage to stagger to the bathroom only to be assaulted with more "outrage" on my way back to the bedroom.
The Man was in a tizzy about something that had to do with the days work but he was making no sense to me. He kept going on about "They", "It", "Them" and multiple words involving dates and times and people none of which were specific or had names. I finally gave up and just walked away shaking my head to clear it. I proceeded to get dressed and wake up enough to return to the kitchen to try to untangle the assault of words that had just been hurled at me. FIFTEEN minutes later I was able to put together the facts of the issue. There are no shower doors for the new shower stall.
I have just given you the crux of the problem in TEN words. THERE. ARE. NO. SHOWER. DOORS. FOR. THE. NEW. SHOWER. STALL.
There are many days that I wonder if The Man is actually speaking English. He has this habit of starting a sentence somewhere in the middle and giving NO clues to who or what he is talking about. Persons are referred to as "They" or "He/She". Places are identified as "there" or "here" and things are titled "IT". (I think Stephen King may have gotten the idea for his famous story of Pennywise The Clown from The Man. Everything is "IT" and that is terrifying.)
I just smile and move on but when the doctor wants to know why my blood pressure is so high I just answer, "HE did IT" !
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