" LEFT BRAIN"

Have you ever heard of Jeanne Robertson ?   She is a motivational speaker and humorist.   She is a VERY funny lady . . .  funny as in "HA HA", not funny as in " peculiar".  I love watching her on Youtube, you really must check her out if you don't know who she is. 

Ms Robertson is married. She refers to her husband as, "Left Brain".  No need on my part to ask why she does this. I personally think she is being very kind when she calls her husband by this name because you all know I think the male species have NO brains. Ms Robertson at least gives her man credit for having a brain.  I can identify with this very funny lady on so many levels. I mention all this to set the foundation for today's exchange with The Man.

My latest encounter with my dear, sweet but often confused man occurred yesterday as we were driving our biweekly trip to pulmonary therapy in Manistique.  When you make a round trip twice a week for five months each year for five years you can pretty much memorize each and every landmark. For instance I know that once we drive through Rapid river we don't pass another town until we get to Manistique.  Thankfully there are two rest areas between these two little towns so if we need a potty stop we are literally, "good to go".  

"Markers" along the way to let us know where we are in the ride include the storage units, the falling down barn, the "nesting pole" with or without what we think are falcons, the old winery that is now being converted into a mini brewery, the "doggy resort", (which is an old motel converted into a kennel), several small motels and the "junk pile". (There is a billboard a few hundred feet before the "junk pile" that advertises another "antique" sale place in Manistique called Christophers so we have named this junk spot the same name. I have no idea if it has a name of it's own because there are no signs anywhere so for us it is" Christophers".)  

This road that we drive twice a week runs along the northern shore of Lake Michigan so it is a main thoroughfare for getting from one side of the lake to the other.  In most places it is only 2 lanes but there  are occasionally areas that widen out to 4 lanes to allow the trucks and tourists who are in a hurry to pass the slower moving locals. It's a very pretty drive that really doesn't get boring because there are always some small changes to the scenery each time we pass.  Sometimes these changes are a subtle as a deer standing in a field or as bothersome as road construction. Which ever it is it keeps the ride interesting. 

About ten miles before we arrive at Manistique and shortly after the turn off for "Big Springs" there is a very old, what used to be, motel.  I use the term "motel" very loosely because it looks more like the movie set for the Bates Motel, aka a dump.  It's a one story building with about eight units that have seen MUCH better days.  The parking lot is all torn up and the building itself looks as if it may collapse any day if it doesn't burn down first.  There are three or four OLD and rusted pick-up trucks and cars scattered in front of the building which makes us think that maybe there are some less than reputable characters inhabiting the building but we have yet to EVER see a live human being any where on the property.  There are two signs, one at either end of the parking lot that state, "NO TURN AROUND".  I personally would drive the extra twenty miles to find a better/safer spot to turn around in but I guess it must be a problem for the inhabitants of the motel.

Adjacent to this motel there is a small run down little house which may or may not have been the residence for the original motel owner. The parking lots are connected and up until this past year there has been a HUGE amount of "junk" (aka "antiques"?) scattered across about thirty feet in front of the little house and overflowing into the "motel" parking lot.  It appears that someone has taken it upon themselves to organize and contain the mess in order to turn the "junk" into a business.  (Think Flea Market that has been sitting out in the weather for several years and actually has FLEAS. It looks as if someone went to the dump, collected trash and set it out in the parking lot for sale. "One mans garbage is another mans treasure" ?) This is what we call "Christophers". 

Anyway . . .  each time we pass this mess we laugh and make comments about the crap that is "For Sale". I imagine you could pretty much find anything here if you wanted to take the time to search. The inventory runs the gamut from kitchen appliances to bicycles to baby seats to clothes.  (Ewwwwwww!)   One of our jokes is about who would EVER stop there to look at this stuff. We have only seen people "shopping" there once or twice so I don't think it is a booming business.

And now to the point of this long story . . .   Yesterday as we drove past Christophers The Man said, " I wonder where all that stuff comes from." I asked what he meant so he went on to ponder further.  The Man couldn't imagine where this "crap", (my word not his) came from. "Who keeps all that stuff around? Where does the owner of "Christophers" get all that 'JUNK' ?" (HIS word not mine.). As I sat there wondering if he was actually being serious in not knowing where "crap" comes from I realized he was indeed puzzled. The Man who has three garages, a cellar and an attic FILLED with stuff couldn't understand where "Christopher" found his treasures to sell. There was ZERO realization that he himself was a major potential supplier to the Christopher's of the world. 

As I sat there in the car next to The Man I tried to think of a nice way of telling him that he had as much, if not more, inventory than Christopher.  I realized there was no point in even trying to approach that topic.  The Man would not and could not ever imagine in his "Left Brain" that he was the U.P "Antique" dealer equivalent of a Mexican Cartel .