"CAN I HELP?"

The most dreaded words I can hear are "can I help?'. They always come from Husband AFTER I have finished doing what ever the hell it was that I could have used some help with.  I know, IF I NEED HELP I SHOULD ASK . . .  Agreed. BUT !  There are some things that I WANT help with but I really can't use help.
Like INCOME TAX . . .     What I WANT is for Husband to DO the taxes. Just collect all the shit from the year and DO SOMETHING with it !  That ain't happening!  Never has, never will! You know it and I know it and when I do get some help it screws things up so badly I wish I had never asked.
Today was THE day. I decided I couldn't put it off any longer, (I had 2 really good blogs all set in my head but knew I really, really REALLY had to get working on this crap.)
I have a bag that hangs on the bedroom door and all year long I toss anything tax related into that bag. I had taken the bag down about a week ago, (when I was feeling soooooooo lousy that I couldn't do much else). I sorted papers. added up donations, (no easy task since I have over 30 charities that I donate to over the year) and checked out what I thought I was still missing.
As I sat down at the computer today to start in on Turbo Tax Husband wandered by inquiring what I was doing. When I told him he said the dreaded words, "Can I help?" This is not so much an offer to add something to this God Awful task as it is a plea to keep him company and give him something to do so he feels useful. (Once again we are finding things to entertain the 2 year old.) I KNOW BETTER . . . I know I am supposed to say "Gee, thanks dear but I've got it covered." but I ALWAYS think, "What the hell, Ger can help. He can add something to this process."  NO  NO   NO   NO   NO   NO   NO  NO !!!!  STUPID STUPID STUPID!  But I said it anyway, "SURE, you can help."  And that was the end of a perfectly lovely day.
It is now 6 hours later. Papers are strewn all over the bed and the floor. I haven't even made a dent in the taxes, I am totally confused as to what I have covered and what I haven't looked at, there is a knot in my stomach the size of a coconut and I owe the government something like sixteen thousand dollars.
Husband is watching TV. I am sucking on a Valium lollipop while drinking a bottle of rum. (Nah, just kidding. But that really does sound like the only way I am going to sleep tonight.) As soon as I finish this blog I am going to google H&R Block and make an appointment for tomorrow.