"SOME DIFFICULTIES" . . ..

I got an email today from a friend who was sorry to hear we were having "some difficulties" in our cancer battle.  SOME DIFFICULTIES !  SOME  DIFFICULTIES ?  SOME DIFFICULTIES !!!!!!!!

No, I am freaking loosing my mind here as I watch my husband slowly dying before my eyes !  Oh, does that sound melodramatic? So sorry but I do think it is a bit more than having, "some difficulties".

I can't fault this person because I know they have battled the BIG "C" for a long long time now and come as close to death as you would care to so I get that they can see this cancer shit for what it is; An Annoyance, a difficulty, a bump in the road. But this is MY cancer experience and no one should be able to think of anything else but the fact that Ger has lung cancer and it is consuming our lives. No one has the right to think about anything else from morning to night and then all night every night every time you wake up. It has to be first and foremost in your lives just like it is in mine. You have to be in physical pain trying to lift and move this man from bed to wheel chair. You have to know what it is like to be in my shoes.  And guess what? . . .   IT ISN'T ABOUT ME !

 Ger is riding this out with his normal stoic style. No discussion, no complaint, no questions. Just as long as I get him food and water, in and out of bed he seems to be fine with all this. He really doesn't seem to care that he is having "some difficulties". Which personally pisses me off big time. I mean, really? What the hell is that all about ?  Sure, let the wife have the entire worry on her shoulders. So now I have mental pain along with the physical pain. Boy this is really messed up and I keep making it about me !

Just saying !