As usual I am shaking my head in amazement at some of the things that come out of this man's mouth. I hear what he is saying but I do not believe for one moment HE hears what he is saying. I joke about the difference between mens and women's brains but I am forever baffled by what they say.
We inherited a ton of vegetables on Sunday. Someone was giving away string beans, zucchini, summer squash, green peppers, potatoes, celery, lettuce and PARSNIPS.
What the hell is a parsnip? I have never bought or cooked this washed out carrot wanna-be. It looks like a carrot, sort of smells like a carrot and I am told it pretty much tastes like a carrot. BUT . . . it is not a carrot.
We loaded all these wonderful veggies into the trunk of the car and brought them back to the house. I had in mind all sorts of wonderful roasted vegetable dishes along side the fresh mashed potatoes. The Man naturally did not think the same as me. As we drove home he said, "The deer are going to LOVE all this". I choked on my water that I happened to be taking a sip of at the moment of this manly declaration. Let me just note here that during the times that I live with this man not one single vegetable is ever cooked and eaten. The closest I get to eating any veggies is when we buy a veggie platter that comes equipped with a gallon of Ranch Dressing. Other than that . . . NADA !
So why should I be surprised that the deer were going to have a veggie feast rather than me ? As we drove along I quietly said I would like to keep some of the squash and peppers. His response to this was,"WHY?". I explained that I wanted to grill them with olive oil, garlic salt and some onions. Once again I was asked, "WHY?". I knew this was going to be a loosing battle so I changed my strategy. If you link the word "cake" or "bread" with any other word The Man's eyes light up and he starts to salivate like Pavlove's dogs. (Google Pavlovian Theory if you don't know what I am talking about). And so I told him I was also thinking of baking a zucchini bread. That got his attention ! (The word "bake" is also key to getting a man's attention.) If I had said I was going to bake a zucchini CAKE we would have made it home in record speed. ( I could probably tell The Man I was going to bake a cat hair and spitball cake and he would get excited.)
Once we got back to the house we had to stop first at the milk house out by the barn. (There hasn't been milk in this house since 1920 but it is still referred to as "The Milk House".). The man supervised the unloading of several bags of apples which were part of our windfall and some of the parsnips. The Man said the deer would not eat parsnips but I thought that since deer ate carrots why wouldn't they eat this carrot like cousin? We then continued on to the house where I unloaded all the veggies on to the patio table. There were way too many to bring into the house at that point since the kitchen is super small and would not accommodate all the goodies. (BTW . . . deer do NOT eat parsnips.)
The next morning I googled "zucchini bread" recipes for when I would get around to it. Then I went outside and spent the next two and a half hours pealing and slicing yellow squash and all the zucchini that I wouldn't use for the bread. Next I asked The Man if I could use the BIG oven in the kitchen to roast up all these veggies. We have NEVER turned this oven on in all the years I have been coming up here so I really was not surprised when he said, "NO'. He must have seen my look of, "Are your freaking kidding me?", that swept across my face because he then had to clarify his answer. The reason we can not use the oven in the kitchen is because he has not used the oven in the kitchen since his wife died. AND ?????? Was his late wife cremated in this oven and her ashes are still in
there ??? God help me . . . I just don't get how they think !
As a result I froze the majority of the cut up squash and green peppers and only roasted the small amount of them that would fit on the tiny tray from the toaster oven. (In spite of my aggravation they were delicious.The Man did not eat any.) But it doesn't end there. After the set back of not being able to use the big oven I told him that it would be OK, (even if it really wasn't), I could freeze the majority of the crop. He panicked at the thought of his freezer being filled with vegetables and immediately started coming up with reasons why I couldn't do that. Once again I must note that there are THREE (3) freezers on this property. The fridge freezer is large and empty except for the plethora of ice cream. There are ice cream sandwiches, ice cream bars, ice cream cups and two half gallons of, you guessed it, ICE CREAM! But God Forbid I put a vegetable in there. There is also a freezer in the basement that still has halibut in it from last summer and an empty freezer in the garage. (The only reason the garage freezer is empty is because we took all the halibut out of it and drove it down to Florida with us. It now is filling up my freezer at home! The Man will tell you how WONDERFUL halibut is and how he LOVES halibut but when ever I suggest we have it for dinner he finds some excuse not to.)
And still it doesn't end there ! Yesterday sort of got away from us and before I knew it it was time for dinner. I had not gotten around to baking, (in the toaster oven), so I said I was going to wait until today to bake.
His response to that . . . "But the cleaning lady is coming!"
Me . . . "yes? and? . . . "
Him . . . "Well you can't bake while she is here!"
Me . . . "No I wasn't planning on baking while she is here. I'll bake in the afternoon when she is gone"
Him . . . "But then there will be flour all over the house!"
I had to walk away . . . I just do NOT get the male brain. Maybe because there isn't one !!!!!
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