Did I tell you about my next door neighbor stopping over last week ? I was just settling in after a busy day, got comfy, (you girls know what that means, off with the bra!) and had dinner cooking on the stove when my door bell rang. NO ONE ever comes to my door unless it is a delivery so I gave a quick thought to just how low I was hanging and figured I was OK to open the door. There stood my neighbor, tears in her eyes saying, "Well, we have something in common." I immediately knew she meant her husband had died so I invited her in, gave her a stiff vodka and apple juice on the rocks and sat down to hear her tale.
She and her husband are renting the house next door and have been there for about 4 years. We have never shared more than a hello in all that time, probably because both of us were busy taking care of husbands. Gerry used to speculate all sorts of tall tales about why we never saw this couple out and about. He would keep track of the few and far between cars in their drive way and also would keep track of how often they missed garbage day and put their trash out on the wrong day. Ger was quite entertained by these two neighbors and quickly established, (from the items in their recycle bin), that they drank A LOT ! The word in the neighborhood was that they were both in their 80's and had moved here from one of the wealthier communities near by.
And now I am sitting in my living room with a sobbing widow who I really don't know and I am learning way more than I ever needed or wanted to know.
It seems that my neighbors were married for 58 years, she came from Brooklyn, just a few blocks away from where Ger grew up and he came from Queens, not all that far from where I grew up. They met young, married quickly and partied on Long Island with the well to do but not so famous folks. They moved often and never had children. It seems they also spent every cent they had on the party circuit and never saved for a rainy day or retirement. And now, 77 year old neighbor, (she let her age slip), has buried her 89 year old husband and is left with NOTHING ! And I do mean nothing ! They rent the house and she says she won't be able to afford to stay there. She drives an older car, has no retirement, (even though she worked for years and years), had no life insurance on her husband who also had no retirement so her only income is her Social Security check.
How could you let that happen ?? Did she never lie in bed at night thinking how she could survive without this man she married? Had she never considered that he might die or leave her? Had she never thought about leaving him? Is she not human ?
I can not believe there are women out there who are so dependent on their husbands that they have no idea what their financial situation is. That just blows my mind! For my entire marriage I always handled the money and had a contingency plan in case husband got sick of me and threw me out. Thank God he never did but I think I could have survived if he had. I wouldn't be living in Paradise like I am but I could have survived.
As for my neighbor, I haven't seen her since she stopped in, although I know she is still there because the garbage was out on the wrong day and her news papers keep getting brought in. I think I'll give her some space in case she is thinking about moving in with me.
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