Up until yesterday if we were playing a word association game and you said "TICK" I would most likely respond with "TOCK".
Today if you say "TICK" I will respond with "WHERE? WHERE? "GET IT OFF ME !!!!" All the while jumping up and down and swatting at myself as if I were being devoured by a horde of hungry locust.
I HATE TICKS !!!!!!!!!! This is a long standing hatred dating back to 1970 when I moved to Eastern Long Island and discovered the world of ticks. There are NO ticks in Queens, New York. Ticks do NOT live on concrete or asphalt. They are grass and tree loving little bastards that sit in wait for the unsuspecting victim to brush up against their residence so they can attach themselves to you. Once on your body they scurry up your leg or arm or neck to find a warm, dark place in which to settle in and suck your blood while possibly infecting you with some horrible disease. Unlike the nasty, bothersome mosquito the tick gives you no warning of its presence until it has firmly attached itself to your skin and has gorged on your bloods so it swells to ten times it's original size. It creeps me out just writing about it. In the world of insects a tick is the lowest of the low ad the vilest of the vile. Have I mentioned that I HATE ticks ?!
I had not thought about ticks in YEARS. Florida, at least the part that I live in and I suspect probably most of Florida, does not have ticks. First, because it is too hot for too long, Second, it rains too much and Third, the landscapers cut the grass 47 times a day. Whatever the reason I have never seen a tick in Florida.
Michigan, on the other hand seems to be the tick capital of the nation. (At least this part of Michigan where I am residing at the moment. Lucky me!) I bought bug spray the other day to ward off the dive bombing mosquitos but never gave the ticks a thought. UNTIL, I was laying on the bed yesterday settling down for a mid afternoon siesta, as is our habit these days, and I felt something on my leg. (I knew it wasn't Dwayne because he was already asleep.) I reached down and picked something off my leg and sat up to look at what I had found. TICK !!!!!!!!
That little bastard didn't stand a chance because he was in the toilet being flushed to kingdom come in less time than I could spell T - I - C - K ! I haven't moved that fast in the past 10 years. BUT now my brain knows there are ticks around so I am crawling with itches. I am shaking out my clothes before I put them on and taking off my shoes AND socks before I come into the house. If I could I would take 20 showers a day just to make sure nothing was crawling on me. I am now obsessed with checking for the slightest spot that moves anywhere, any time. I KNOW they are lurking EVERY WHERE just waiting for me to brush up against them. My head itches constantly so I look like a Labrador retriever with flees, scratching at my head and swatting at my legs and arms. Even the car isn't safe because I know the nasty little creatures are on my shoes just looking for a ride in the car where I will be distracted long enough to give them the opportunity to crawl up my legs.
Even as I sit here writing about them I am constantly stopping to scratch an arm or my back. They are out to get me and I am at their mercy. Other than pouring vegetable oil all over my body so the ticks can't get a grip on my skin I am at a loss as to what to do. I guess it's time to "Google" how to kill, maim, incinerate, destroy, eliminate the evil tick. I hope I survive long enough to get back to Florida where there ARE NO BUGS !!!!
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